Chaotic Sonata: 100 Royai Songs
by jacksparrow589
Summary: My take on the Royai 100 themes, each inspired by or reminiscent of a song. So sit back, put on some headphones, and enjoy! Final theme up!
1. Military Personnel

**1. Military Personnel**

Being a soldier always came first.

Most of the time, they didn't have a problem with this. They had joined the military of their own free will, and for good reasons.

They wanted to help people, to save them and make their lives better. They were going to make it to the top and change the entire country.

They could—that wasn't the problem.

They just hadn't counted on becoming so close. Sure, soldiers were allowed to have feelings, the same as everyone else, and even if they said fraternization was frowned upon, it happened anyway.

The trouble came when the decision was between one of them and the country.

They'd become soldiers to better Amestris, true enough, but also, perhaps secretly to stay close. But when you became too close you couldn't be objective, couldn't do what you'd always said you would, if that meant any negative consequences for the other person.

But being a soldier always came first, and they just had to hope that they never had to make those decisions.

**A/N: Well, I thought I'd try my hand at the Royai 100. I've said in the past that I'd never make it, that I don't have the attention span to do so, but dammit, I'm gonna give it the good old college try! (Just like everything else right now, as I happen to be in college…)**

**So, without further ado, here's the song of the chapter: "Citizen Soldiers" by Matchbox 20.**

**Please take a few seconds to let me know how I'm doing every so often. Drabbles aren't exactly my forte, so this is kind of an experiment...**


	2. Gunshot

**2. Gunshot**

_BANG!_

She'd hit the target dead-on. She always did.

_BANG!_

She was damn good—one of the best, she'd been told time and again.

_BANG!_

"So efficient. I wish I was that good."

_BANG!_

Riza hated comments like that. She was this good only out of necessity. If she didn't have to protect him, she wouldn't have ever picked up a gun. As it was, she worried that she would someday lose herself to the animal that pulled the trigger before she could stop it.

_BANG!_

That animal that had saved Roy so many times could destroy him.

_BANG!_

Riza was afraid that one day, as good as she'd gotten, it might all come crashing down, that the animal inside her would turn on Roy before she could bring him back, and that the last (well, second-to-last, if it came to that) gunshot she ever fired would not be to protect Roy, but to kill him.

_BANG!_

**A/N: Song of the chapter: "21 Guns" by Green Day**

**Oh, and that last _BANG!_? Take your pick--either Riza has to keep on going, or, going back to possibly using her second-to-last bullet on Roy, she can't go on.**


	3. Battlefield

**3. Battlefield**

_This isn't why I'm here. Soldiers are supposed to save lives, not take them senselessly, but nobody sees that!_

Roy was dragging behind as much as he could. Another day, another opportunity for bloodshed. He hated it.

And he hated himself, now that he knew Riza was here. What the hell had possessed her? Roy tried not to be chauvinistic, but he could barely stand it. For the girl he knew to face these horrors… She still seemed sane, at least, which was more than Roy could say for himself sometimes.

"Major Mustang."

How did she do that? He was getting sloppy. Someone could sneak up on him so easily…

"Sorry."

Riza shrugged. "I'm a sniper; it's my job not to be seen." It wasn't even an attempt at humor—it was just an explanation.

"The battlefield doesn't suit you."

"So you've said. It's occurred to me that you're not much for it, either."

Roy sighed. "This isn't what I wanted to do. This isn't helping people. This isn't making Amestris better."

"I know," Riza said softly. "But I think, if we can stand it a little longer, we'll be able to do what we set out to do."

"Shouldn't have to stand it at all," Roy grumbled. "But I guess, if it means I accomplish my goal, I just have to learn to live with myself."

Riza nodded. "Even those who are destined for great things start small."

"If this is how long starting small takes…" Roy stopped himself from completing that sentence. "I'm destined for greater things, and I'll get there. Period." Roy strode purposefully ahead.

Seeing that Roy's vigor was renewed, Riza felt hope well up within her.

They'd make it yet.

**A/N: Song: "Meant to Live" by Switchfoot**


	4. Grave

**4. Grave**

"I'm going to do it, you know. I'm going to make the world a better place. It's not just some idiotic, idyllic dream."

Roy stared at the grave of his teacher, as though he expected Mr. Hawkeye to rise from the grave and try to convince him otherwise.

"I think that's what he would want you to do, even if he never said it nicely," Riza said from behind him, surprising Roy just a little bit.

Roy could feel himself blushing a little. "Sorry. I didn't mean to be bad-mouthing your father in his grave."

Riza shrugged. "Either way, he wanted to see you succeed."

"But… he… I…"

"You came for Flame Alchemy, I know. And while it might not have seemed like it, I believe my father knew that you truly wanted it to make the world a better place. His insistence to the contrary was probably what you might call a last test." Riza looked from the grave to Roy. "And while I'm not my father, I'd say you've passed. But that means I get to hold you to your promises. You're going to make Amestris a better place."

"Of course I am."

"To do that, you'll need Flame Alchemy." Riza sighed. "How much do you know?"

Roy looked at her cluelessly. "Wait… how do you…?"

Riza started back toward the house, seeming resolute about something. "Come on. I'm going to show you what you need to accomplish your goal."

Wondering what exactly this would entail, Roy hurried after Riza. It really didn't matter, though, as long as he accomplished his goal in the end.

And he would.

**A/N: Song: "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance**


	5. Heiki Weapon & Heiki Fine

**5. Heiki (Weapon) & Heiki (Fine)**

**A/N: Takes place during Chapter 94.**

Taking aim, Riza shot. Homunculus though Envy was, Riza knew that if she "killed" a homunculus enough, they really would die, or whatever their equivalent was.

"You focus too much on your target!" Envy sneered.

Before Riza could dodge it, a tentacle of sorts was wrapped around her neck and shoulders, and she was being slammed to the floor. Her clip shattered on impact, and Riza knew she was lucky it hadn't embedded itself in her skin.

She couldn't breathe. It was Gluttony all over again, only this time, she really was going to die…

_BOOM!_

Air flooded her lungs. Riza was free.

_Is it…?_

She pushed herself up on one arm, not sure what she would do if it was another enemy. Her weapons had been scattered and she was in pretty rough shape.

It was Roy.

"That's one of my dearest subordinates you're attacking." Roy turned to address her now. "No more recklessness, Lieutenant. I told you I'd kill him myself."

At least he seemed to care that Riza was fine, although she got the feeling that he wasn't.

Fine or not, Riza could sense that the worst was not over. She pushed herself up, watching horrified as the Colonel destroyed Envy over and over again.

_No, stop, this isn't right!_

Roy had Envy under his boot and was prepared to snap and end it.

_Don't make me do this!_

Now she knew for a fact that Roy wasn't fine. Steeling herself against the pain, she took hold of the first gun she could reach and raised it, ready to fight Roy for his own life. Though she tried to maintain her composure, behind the mask, everything was going to hell.

_How did it come to this?_

**A/N: Song: "In Pieces" by Linkin Park.**


	6. Death

**6. Death**

**A/N: At the tail end of Ishbal, references a scene from chapter 61.**

_This is what I joined for?_

Riza packed the last of the dirt onto the grave. It was the least she could do to give the child the last bit of honor and respect that really should be paid to everyone.

But of course, in war, honor and respect, as much as they were spoken of, did not exist. There was just killing and death and all the horrible things men could think to exact on each other.

_I might not have known who you were, but you did not deserve this. I won't forget this._

"It's time to go," Roy told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Riza rose, dusted off her uniform, and turned to walk away.

_I might walk away, but your death will not be forgotten, I promise. And for what it's worth, I hope that it will give birth to the life you should have had. It might not be yours, but I must be able to make up for it somehow, because in this land of death, the hope that life can go on is all I can cling to._

**A/N: Song: "There Was A Life" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra.**

**Wow. Nice 'n' cheery for Valentine's Day, eh? I swear I didn't plan this!**

**Let me know how I'm doing, please!**


	7. Crime and Punishment

**7. Crime and Punishment**

They'd faced death again and again, caused it, almost been on its doorstep, mourned it, been unable to stop it.

Being unable to stop it was always by far the worst.

It wasn't something they liked to think about, but it reminded them of their crimes, and while it would be a fitting punishment, it wasn't the worst.

Being forgiven would be nice, and bearable, but they'd never be able to forgive themselves.

Perhaps living with the knowledge that they wouldn't be forgiven, that they'd be praised for all the destruction they'd caused, that they had to stay alive to make things right, and that even then, they'd be told they were wrong… _That_ was probably the worst punishment of all.

**A/N: Song: "We're Forgiven" by The Calling**


	8. Storelined Streets

**8. Store-lined Streets**

Roy strolled down the street of one of Central's main shopping districts, hands shoved in his pockets. He should probably have been looking for things he needed, but nothing came to mind right away. He'd taken this little excursion simply to get out of his apartment.

"Colonel?"

Roy snapped out of his reverie, sharp eyes now scanning the crowd.

Ah. There she was. Roy walked over. "Good morning, Lieutenant. What bring you here?"

Riza adjusted the grip on the bags she was holding. "Errands, specifically groceries."

"That's quite a lot," Roy noted. "Expecting company?"

"Lack of time," Riza informed him.

"Ah." Roy rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Would you like me to carry some of them for you?"

Riza looked at him quizzically. "I would, but…"

Roy shook his head. "I'm just wandering today. It's no trouble. And anyway," he added as he took two of the three bags, "I'm at least partially responsible for your lack of free time."

Riza's only response was a smile.

Sporting a grin of his own, Roy offered, "And if it's all right with you, I'll make it up to you a little more. What would you say to me making dinner?"

"I'd say… yes."

**A/N: Song: "Breathless" by the Corrs**


	9. Unknown Past Before We Knew Each Other

**9. Unknown Past/Before We Knew Each Other**

What was he going to be like, this student of her father's?

Riza hoped he wouldn't be anything like any of the other young alchemists who had come knocking on their door: arrogant, wanting only to be able to do alchemy to be famous, or just to get into the military.

There were the few who had treated Riza as though she were dirt, and, to her father's credit, they had immediately been turned out. Her father might not have been the most in-touch with reality, but Riza knew he cared for her as a father should for a daughter, even if it was partially due to the secret she carried.

However, as much as Riza hoped this student respected her father so that her father would respect him, there was a bit of resentment; Mr. Hawkeye really did invest his time in his students and, more importantly, his research. It gave him something to cling to in the absence of her mother—Riza could understand that.

But all she had left to cling to was her father, and this time, she'd be damned if she let a student take her father completely away from her.

**A/N: Okay, the song for this ("Jolene", covered by Mindy Smith) needs a bit of explanation: I definitely didn't mean it romantically. I chose the song for its sense of loss of an important person.**


	10. Promise

**10. Promise**

**A/N: Something of a companion to/continuation of 4 (Grave).**

"My God."

Roy couldn't stop himself from saying the words, even if he knew somewhere in the back of his mind that he didn't believe in God.

He was equally horrified and fascinated—Riza could tell without having to see his face.

"Now you know why I asked you if I could trust my back to you," she said quietly.

Roy didn't say anything, but reached out to touch her back, just to brush it with his fingertips. Riza shivered involuntarily, and Roy immediately withdrew his hand.

"Riza…" An apology wouldn't be enough.

"I believe you can make your dream a reality." Riza kept the sheet clutched to her chest as she turned to face Roy. "But you have to promise me that you will."

Roy nodded shakily. "I couldn't say no to that even if I wanted to." He locked eyes with Riza. "I promise that I won't stop until my dream becomes a reality, until the State is there to protect the people, until bloodshed is a distant memory, until I make it so."

While she didn't smile, Riza's features lightened a little. She nodded and turned back around.

"I _promise,_" Roy said again before he grabbed a pen and began to sketch.

**A/N: Song: "Fields of Innocence" by Evanescence.**

**And crap! I'm so sorry I skipped an update! I haven't been feeling very well lately. Stupid pollen.**


	11. Liar

**11. Liar**

**A/N: Takes place the instant Roy and Riza meet in Ishbal, but kind of an alternate scene, as you'll see at the end.**

_You promised. I trusted my back to you. And this is how it turns out…_

They stared at each other across the square.

For what it was worth, he knew, and he knew she knew. But it wasn't enough. He had _lied._

Riza's eyes narrowed just a little bit, and Roy's eyes widened with a hint of fear.

_But how can you hate him?_ She wondered to herself, and her own eyes widened with horror. _You promised your father that you would guard his secret against those who would use it like this. You're as much a liar as he is._

Riza turned on her heel and ran, the horrible childhood taunt ringing in her ears.

_Liar, liar, pants on fire…_

_Are you happy now, Mr. Mustang? No, you're just as miserable as me. I was once told that a circle in Hell is reserved for liars. Well, I think we're in it now._

**A/N: Song: "Anything For You" by Evanescence**


	12. Proof

**12. Proof**

**A/N: Set during chapter 94.**

Riza smirked. "Excuse me? You're joking, right?" She waited for Roy to turn so she could see his face. "The Colonel always calls me 'Riza' when we're alone."

Just as she thought: merely outrage at being tricked. "You two are together?"

_BANG!_

"No, but thank you for falling for that."

They claim to be human, Riza thought, but what those monsters don't realize is that proving you love someone has nothing to do with words, and everything to do with actions, and even then, it was in the most subtle of ways.

And that, in and of itself, was proof that they could win.

**A/N: Song: "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys**

**I was thinking, and if you wanted a background song that made this really amusing, you could use "Say My Name" by Destiny's Child. Oh, Envy-as-Roy is two-timing Riza, but not in the usual way…**


	13. Betrayal

**13. Betrayal**

**A/N: Roy's thoughts during Chapters 94 and 95.**

Was it wrong that I was glad to have a reason? I was glad that I was able to get to Riza on time, glad that she was alive, but that was almost blocked out by the rage that Envy had almost managed to take someone else from me.

There we go. I could kill him. I really could. I had a reason this time. It wasn't revenge if the Lieutenant was still alive, was it? I was only protecting someone important to me. Envy had proven to have some of the best regenerative abilities of the homunculi—he would regain a stronger form when he got the chance. I was only preventing that. I was protecting those Envy hadn't harmed yet.

But, all the time, in the back of my head, Maes was there, breathing his last in that bloodstained phone booth, dying to tell me something that would help, and by the hands of a monster in the guise of his wife.

Sure, it was revenge, and revenge was betraying everyone's trust in me, but if I could claim that I was just protecting myself and Riza, who would know? Really? And even if someone did know, everyone's been betrayed at one time or another. We just have to forgive and move along.

Except in this case. Envy was not going to take another life if I had anything to say about it, even if it was betrayal, because letting him go free would mean betraying Maes, and I couldn't face him if I did that. I could, however, face Riza.

Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission, anyway.

**A/N: Song: "Prelude 12/21" by AFI.**

**Oh, and did anyone notice the significance of 13 being betrayal? (Look it up—there's a whole bunch of cultures that relate the two! Very fascinating…)**


	14. Covered Eyes

**14. Covered Eyes**

**A/N: Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

"Riza?"

I looked up over the edge of my book. "Yes?"

Roy looked a bit nervous, a bit unsure as to how to go about whatever it was, and not even sure if he should. "I, er, have a present for you."

"For me?"

"It _is_ your birthday, right?" he asked, looking as though he'd just realized he'd made a huge mistake.

"Oh! Yes, thank you. I just wasn't expecting…" I stood and tried to think of something else to say, but failing that, I said, "Thank you," again.

Roy started towards me, stopping in front of me with his hands behind his back. "Um, I couldn't find anything suitable to wrap it with, so close your eyes. Please," he added quickly.

I stared at him for a moment. Roy hadn't done anything to make me suspicious of him, but I knew enough girls with brothers to know that this was asking for trouble.

"I promise it's not alive or slimy. I think—hope—you'll like it. But I'd like for it to be some sort of surprise," he explained, looking and sounding earnest as only an honest person can.

I sighed and closed my eyes, holding out my hands. I felt Roy place a book in them, and before I could open my eyes, I also felt his lips brush my cheek.

This stunned me so much that I didn't even open my eyes for a moment. When I did, Roy was gone.

I looked down at the book. It was one that I'd been looking at the last few times I had been in town with Roy, running errands. He'd paid attention…

Absently, I touched the spot where he'd kissed me, and, unable to help myself, I smiled.

**A/N: Song: "For You I Will (Confidence)" by Teddy Geiger. It's such a sweet song! –(melts into a puddle of ooze as she listens to it for the 18 billionth time)-**


	15. The Scent of Blood

**15. The Scent of Blood**

**A/N: Takes place during Chapter 101.**

I'd almost become de-sensitized to it, but there's something different about it when it's someone you know, someone you care about.

It was nauseating, having to watch it, having Riza's blood fill my senses, and being unable to do anything. I was no doctor—burning it shut would be too risky. I couldn't stand the thought of having to turn the fire on her a second time, anyway.

_Please, someone save her! I can't help! She'll die!_

The tiny Xingese girl was suddenly at my side, insisting that she could help. Ed and Al had told me about her alchemy, and I was willing to try anything at that point.

My heart pounded, and I knew I was going to be sick if something didn't happen soon, if that wound wasn't closed. The scent of blood was too overpowering…

And then it stopped growing. The wound still looked pretty bad, but it was closed, and that was all that mattered.

But she wasn't moving!

"Ungh…" The groan was so weak, and only her eyelids fluttered, but it was enough. I gathered her in my arms, not caring about the smell of blood this time, because it reminded me that she was still alive.

**A/N: Song: "Hero" by Skillet**


	16. Reaching Voice, Unreachable With a Voice

**16. Reaching Voice and Unreachable With a Voice**

"Sir?"

He was staring off into space again. I frowned and walked over. "Sir, there's work to be done." This again failed to rouse the Colonel.

I gently shook his shoulder. "Colonel, you need to work, Sir."

"Huh?" Roy blinked and shook his head, looking like a little boy for a moment. "Sorry, Lieutenant. I didn't mean to drift off." He sighed and shifted in his chair. "But it was nice."

"What was?" I wanted to know.

"Just thinking about how things are going to be after all this is done and I'm at the top."

I smiled. "Well, dreams alone won't get you there, Sir."

With a grin of his own, he replied, "But I wouldn't have started without them."

I had to laugh, just a little. "Too, true, Colonel, too true."

**A/N: Song: "A Dream Worth Keeping" by Sheena Easton.**


	17. Scars

**17. Scars**

**A/N: Takes place in my own little post-manga universe. Spoilers for chapter 102**

It was all he had left to remind himself of what she looked like, and he hated it. All he could do was memorize those scars, and they just didn't fit. In his mind, she was flawless, and he knew he shouldn't imagine her that way, that Riza was the sort of person who knew that people came with flaws and that everyone just had to do what they could to accept each other.

In that way, she had also accepted herself, or at least that nothing could undo those scars. As she had constantly pointed out at Roy's worst moments, she was still alive, as was he, and that was almost more than they could expect.

One evening, in a fit of frustration, Roy had figured it out. "It's not that I think you're… broken or damaged or whatever… at least, no more than any of the rest of us. It's just that I should have been able to prevent those scars. I'm the reason that you have them."

"You're forgetting. It might have been your dream I pursued, but it was my choice to follow you to begin with. Feel that some of the blame falls on you if it really makes you feel better, but my actions have always been my own, even if my reasons haven't." A sigh. "I know where you're coming from, and I won't tell you there aren't days where I haven't felt the same way about you—"

Roy had gently put a hand over her mouth, ready to continue for her. "But we're alive. I know. And believe me, Riza, I'm grateful for that. So I guess, in a way, I'm thankful for your scars, as well as my own"—he knew Riza could feel where Bradley's sword had pierced his hand—"but when you're blind, touch is all you have to go on to remember how anything looks. I _know_ that physical beauty says nothing about the person inside, and I still know you're beautiful inside and out, that you always have been and will be. I just wish that anyone who sees only your scars could look past them the same way I do."

"Fortunately, the people who matter can and do, and that's really all I care about," Riza told him. "But thank you for always seeing with your heart. It takes a lot to be able to do that."

Roy shrugged. "It's all I've got left, and by God or whatever's out there, I'm going to make do with what I have."

**A/N: And the moral of the story is… jacksparrow589 can be so overtly preachy sometimes!**

**Song (In what may very well be my most twisted sense of irony rearing its ugly head): "I2I" Tevin Campbell**


	18. I don't want to realize

**18. "I don't want to realize"**

**A/N: Takes place during 102.**

It has to be a mistake of some sort, or some sort of cruel joke… please, whoever or whatever is out there, please let it be anything but the truth!

I've come so close—it's all within my grasp. I could really do it. I could make it to the top, change the world, fulfill my promises to everyone, to myself.

And it's still going to happen, one way or another, really, but I just deserve so much more. I know I have no right to say that when people have nothing, but right now, I have nothing left. I've given it my all. I just refuse to accept that it's true.

I never asked for this. I resisted the urge to do human transmutation with the woman I love dying before my eyes. I didn't kill a single person when we made our initial move. I gave them chance after chance to take me down, and now this. I won't accept it. I'll wake up, and it'll be the middle of the night, and I've had some horrible nightmare, and I won't be able to sleep, even though I have work the next day—I'll take any explanation but the truth.

I don't want to realize that I'm blind, but perhaps it's easier _because_ I'm blind. I can always pretend I have my eyes closed, that I'll see again, that I'll be able to look out at Amestris and see for myself just how much I've done.

I can't realize because if I do, I will break, and it will have all been for nothing, and I owe everyone so much more than that. So dream, illusion, temporary effect, whatever it is, it's not real, and I won't believe it, because I can either believe I'm blind, or keep on believing what I've believed all this time. The two are mutually exclusive. And as long as I have the hope that somehow, things can be set right, I damn well intend to keep it that way.

**A/N: Song: "Move Along" by All-American Rejects.**


	19. Things One Cannot Understand

**19. Things One Cannot Understand**

It was always so odd, when they thought about it. How was it possible that the right two people could meet just when they needed to the most?

How could they know that each one needed the other?

How was it possible that they'd managed to stay together all this time?

How was it possible that they would still be together, that they could still pledge their lives so certainly to each other and their goals? What made them strong enough to do that?

It was amazing, and even though they didn't fully understand it, it gave them the strength to go on, to stand by each other through thick and thin, and at the end of the day, that was all that could ever really matter.

**A/N: Song: "Chemicals React" by Aly and AJ**

**Oh, and here's a long-overdue THANK YOU for reading, and more of the same to those who have reviewed! It's awesome to get feedback from you! It helps make my writing better and encourages me to keep it up!**


	20. Murderer

**19. "Murderer"**

**A/N: Takes place while Riza and Barry wait for Roy to show up.**

Murderer.

Riza sighed. It was so much easier to say when you could think of a murderer as a psychopath, someone who'd lost touch with reality, someone so abnormal that it was excusable. Take the suit of armor sitting next to her, for example.

"Hey, Missy, what's gotten into you?" Barry sounded genuinely curious.

"It's hard to believe we're the same," Riza said simply, not even thinking about it.

Barry was rolling on the ground laughing in less than half a second. "The same? Oh, that's rich, Missy! If I still had eyes, I'd be crying, I'm laughing so hard! If I was alive, I'd be dead of laughing so hard! How the hell is a foxy thing like you anything like me?"

"We're both murderers." It was as simple as before. No conjecture to it, just statement of fact.

Barry stopped laughing immediately. "Whoa, there. Don't put yourself on the same level as me. I'm insane, remember? I'm crazy—I go killing people for no reason. How are you even…? Well, I suppose with _your_ skill with a gun… You were in Ishbal, you said?" He waited for Riza to nod. "_Pfft._ You were following orders. The real murderers are your higher-ups. You were just the instrument, and I should know. A knife doesn't _want_ to kill, Missy. It doesn't want to _not_ kill, either, but that's beside the point. It's simply a tool, just as you were. You were gonna be scrapped if you didn't follow orders, just like you get rid of a knife that won't sharpen. Missy, you've got absolutely _no_ right to the title of murderer. It's an insult to those of us who really are!"

_Is he for real?_ Riza was nearly to the point of laughter. "Um, Thank you, I guess."

With a hopeful note in his voice, Barry offered, "If you were really thankful, you'd let me chop ya up."

_Yeah, he's for real._ Riza sighed. _Colonel, please get here soon!_

**A/N: I wasn't going for funny when I started this, and I guess it isn't absolutely hilarious, but this is definitely lighter than I intended to treat this one. But the song that I wanted for this just kind of stuck with me. I'm remarkably fond of it now.**

**Song: "What I've Done" by Linkin Park**


	21. Repentence Confession

**21. Repentance/Confession**

Roy set down Ed's Liore report and sighed. "If they want to atone, they should be out there, doing something to right their wrongs, instead of praying to a force that may or may not exist to make it all go away."

"Perhaps they know that whoever they've wronged can't forgive them. Perhaps they can't forgive themselves. Perhaps it makes people feel better to think that someone can forgive them," Riza said absently as she paged through her book.

"Fine, yes, that makes sense. But they should also go out and _do_ something." It was reminding him of Ishbal, this talk of sins and heresy, and he was getting agitated.

"I never said they shouldn't," Riza pointed out. "I agree with you—people need to take responsibility. But would you rather feel forgiven by something out there, even if you're not sure it exists? Wouldn't that be more of an incentive _to_ repent?"

"For people who need the motivation, maybe," Roy grumbled. "I know, I know, what's wrong with motivation? Nothing."

They were silent for a little while.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Riza spoke.

"Some things… are small enough, or at least seem small enough, that people need more motivation than just their conscience to do what's right. For us, it's different. The things we've done are horrific, and it's possible all the work we do—our lives—won't atone for it. But we're trying every day. We are repenting and confessing constantly, if only to ourselves, and that takes strength. But it also takes strength to go to a complete stranger and confess your sins. Still, I'd say that, on the whole, it takes more strength to know you've done wrong and atone of your own free will. Sometimes, in the end, it's not up to us if we're forgiven, but we still repent for the same reason others do. We just don't tell anyone. It's not cowardice, it's just a different way of looking at things."

Roy nodded curtly. "Very well-put, Lieutenant."

"Thank you, Colonel." Riza went back to reading her book.

After a moment's pause, it was Roy who spoke. "You're right. I hope you know that. And I hope you know that even if no one forgives you, even after you're done 'repenting', I will."

"As will I for you, Sir." Noticing that Roy was now smiling just a little, Riza had to ask, "Sir?"

"I think I just proved your point, Lieutenant. I feel better after talking, I really do."

Now it was Riza who smiled softly. "You've always been good about self-motivated confession and repentance. Don't go soft on me now, Sir."

Rolling his eyes, but still smiling, Roy picked up the report and began to read again.

**A/N: Wow. A kind of longer one.**

**Song: "All the Same" by Sick Puppies.**


	22. God

**22. God**

**A/N: Spoilers for chapter 102.**

Of all the mistakes I could have made as I watched helplessly as Riza started to bleed out, I didn't think praying would ever be one of them.

_I don't know who you are or if you exist, but if you do, she doesn't deserve to die. Not here, and not like this. And I'll give anything not to see her die. Really, take an arm, a leg… whatever—I don't care. Just please… I don't want to watch her die!_

How I got around to thinking I was out of the woods once May saved her, I'll never know. Maybe I thought that whatever toll alkahestry had was enough. Maybe watching her almost die and not being able to do anything was the price.

I don't even know if I ever really believed.

I just know that I couldn't watch Riza die.

But I'd made a promise, and whatever cosmic forces are out there, they made good on it. I wouldn't see Riza die then.

The price I paid was that I would never be able to see her again.

Oh, it was better than dying—I could still make it to the top, and I fully intend to.

Losing my vision won't stop me. Losing my faith won't, either.

Then again, how do you lose something you never really had in the first place?

**A/N: Song: "Angels" by Within Temptation**


	23. Someone I Want to Protect

**23. Someone I Want To Protect**

At first it was just his dream. Anybody could have had that dream, and I still would have wanted to protect it, really.

Admittedly, there was something about him that I instinctively liked from the first, but not enough to want to have the same protective feelings. A lot of the time, it felt as though _he_ was trying to protect _me_.

Perhaps I wanted to return those feelings. Perhaps my feelings developed on their own. I don't know. I just know that, over time, I came to cherish the man as much as his dream, and I would do anything to protect both.

But what could I do? It felt as though I would never have the strength to protect such a dream and the man who dreamed it with the worth both were due.

I just wouldn't stop, then. I would have to have faith in my own abilities. I would have to have determination. I would have to know what I want and how to get it.

There are days, weeks, even, where it's still hard. But I won't give up. The dream is important to me, and I will protect it, no matter the cost.

Just as I will protect the man.

**A/N: Song: "The Prayer" by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli. At least, I hope I conveyed the sense that Riza had (and sometimes still has) to ask for the strength to go on.**


	24. Not There

**24. "Not There"**

**A/N: After Roy's team is broken up.**

"Morning."

Roy mentally cursed himself. He didn't know why he'd said it—he knew he'd be coming in to an empty office that morning, and every morning after it.

Of course he'd hoped that it was all a bad dream, but he'd told himself that nobody was going to be there anymore, that he was going to have to manage on his own.

But everywhere he turned, a memory lurked.

Havoc, accidently catching papers on fire as he picked them up with the hand his cigarette occupied.

Breda, puzzling over a book on chess, or actually playing a game with himself to keep sharp.

Fuery, fiddling with some electronics or playing with Hayate quietly.

Falman, taking his time to read the reports before passing them on.

Riza, just being there, whether she was reading a book or signing papers or cleaning a gun or just taking a small break. Memories of her were some of the most vivid, maybe because she was always right there. She always had been. And now she wasn't.

Roy could see it so clearly that he had to blink a few times and shake his head. "They're not there, you idiot, and if you ever want them by your side again, you'd better hurry up and get it together. They're _not there_. They're not…"

"Dammit, I just wish they were."

**A/N: Song: "Where'd You Go" by Ft. Minor ft Holly Brook.**

**The difference between knowing something and seeing it for yourself sometimes makes all the difference, and, as Roy has found out, not always in a good way. Poor Roy…**


	25. So I'm Crying

**25. "So I'm Crying"**

**A/N: After Roy vs. Lust, in the hospital.**

Riza jolted awake by a strangled yell. Her hand was on her holster before she realized that the danger wasn't physically present in the room.

"Sir, wake up. It's just a dream." Riza grabbed Roy's shoulders and pushed him back against the bed. "Come on, wake up. It's just a dream, Roy—_just a dream!"_

Roy woke with a gasp, tears running down his cheeks.

Riza waited for a moment before releasing the pressure she'd been exerting and sitting back down. Roy caught one of her hands. "Sir?"

"Ishbal." That was the only thing he could say for a moment. "Ishbal… I was there all over again… And I couldn't do anything to save anyone… They all died and I couldn't help…" He took a deep breath and pressed his free hand to his eyes, now looking more than a little annoyed. "I'm crying."

"Yes, Sir, you are." Riza stated it as a fact. She didn't disparage or encourage, but just confirmed it.

Roy made a small noise of disgust. "So I'm crying. That means I'm still alive. And _that_ means I can accomplish my goal." He was already getting hazy, his grip on Riza's hand slackening.

Riza breathed a small sigh of relief and smiled. "Yes, Sir. Yes it does."

**A/N: Song: "Sky Is Falling" by Lifehouse.**


	26. Cureless

**26. Cureless**

Most things can be remedied somehow. Most broken things can be repaired. Most lost things can be replaced relatively easily. You just have to give it time.

But time won't cure blindness. You can't replace eyes, can't repair them easily. Once your sight's gone, it's gone for good.

I used to think that I could change the way people saw things. I called the higher-ups blind to corruption, but I thought they could be persuaded. But their blindness, too, was cureless. There is just no way to make it go away.

So I'll settle for the next best thing. I'll still make it to the top. It's not impossible. I've still got all my wits about me, so it can be done. I'll just need a little extra help—someone to be my eyes.

I know that I don't have to ask, that she'd do it anyway. She said she'd follow me into hell—no way I will ever forget that. She's just that kind of person, and that's why I cherish her. Together, we'll make our way to the top, side by side, as one.

Blindness might be cureless, but that won't stop us.

**A/N: Song: "Remember the Words" by Ace of Base.**


	27. Dependency

**27. Dependency**

Riza sighed. "Colonel, please do your paperwork."

"I am."

"Please do it faster, then. I have to get home to feed Hayate."

Roy winced. Oops. He'd forgotten. "Sorry."

_Scritch, scritch, scritch._

Even if he didn't want to say it, it had to be said. "You could leave, you know."

Riza nodded. "Oh, I know. But I also know that if I do, you won't get done."

Roy shot her an apologetic grin. "I guess I just enjoy your company too much."

Whatever he had expected, it wasn't what came next: Smiling just a little bit, Riza replied, "I know _that_ all too well."

**A/N: Song: "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by Bowling for Soup.**


	28. Pain and Wounds

**28. Pain & Wounds**

Do your worst, Bradley, I thought. I'm ready, I thought.

He could rip me to shreds with that sword of his—not enough to kill me, but enough to make me wish I were dead. He could send any of the other homunculi to do roughly the same. He could order the other higher-ups to bring me in for questioning, the kind that we don't like to admit exists.

Torture me all you want, you bastard, I thought. You won't break me, I thought.

"That's how it is, Colonel Mustang."

He could have given me all the wounds he wanted. I'm human; I'll heal or I'll die—it's always one or the other.

But that monster knew that nothing compared to the pain of knowing you were putting the lives of those you loved in danger.

And he knew that I might very well have to live with that pain for the rest of my life, even if they stayed safe, because as long as the threat was there, the pain was, too.

**A/N: Song: "Rain" by Dax Johnson.**


	29. Existence

**29. Existence**

"Sometimes, I wonder why I was put on this earth," Roy sighed, staring out his apartment window at the rain. "I struggle, and I struggle. And for what?"

"For your goal." It was that simple. A statement of fact, and nothing else.

Roy smiled a little. "But what after that? Reaching that goal might not take my entire life, even though that would be satisfying. What do I have to bind me to this existence after all that's said and done?"

Coming over to stand next to him, Riza took his hand. In a tone that was a mix of shock, offense, and mostly assurance, she gave him another simple answer, but it was the best answer she could give, and it broadened Roy's smile exponentially.

"You have me."

**A/N: Song: "Because You Live" by Jesse McCartney.**


	30. Conversation

**30. Conversation**

**A/N: Takes place after Mustang's group is split up.**

Roy remembered the first real conversation he'd had with Riza. She'd been drying dishes after dinner, and he had decided to take a break from studying.

Of all the things they could have talked about, they had talked about the ocean. Riza had told him of how she'd always wanted to see it, and Roy had reacted a bit incredulously. Humans were meant to be on land, he'd pointed out.

Riza had just shrugged and said, "To each his own," and the conversation had ended abruptly.

As the years had gone on, Roy had gotten better and better at talking with her, but he never could forget how badly that first conversation had gone.

And now, as Roy looked about the empty office, he found himself longing for even that first exchange.

Anything would suffice, even an argument, as long as it brought her back.

**A/N: Song: "Ocean Avenue" by YellowCard. (And no, I did not notice the whole converstaion about ocean/Ocean Avenue thing at first. I was just looking for something unimportant to talk about.)**


	31. Home Cooking

**31. Home Cooking**

**A/N: Song: "Underneath the Moonlit Sky" by Dave Koz**

**Takes place after number 8 of this collection. Pretending that Aruego is an approximation of Spain.**

"Sir, this really isn't necessary."

"It might not be, but you agreed to it. Everyone deserves a night off once and a while."

" 'Everyone' includes you, Sir."

Roy rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but if you're the first person who deserves it—and you are—that makes me the last person. Anyway, I can always stop by Chris's if I want something. You, on the other hand…" Roy let the thought trail there, knowing he was getting into dangerous territory.

"Might I at least help, then?" Riza wanted to know.

Roy pointed out to the sitting room with his ladle. "Yes. You can go out there and let me make up all those hours you've lost to me and my laziness."

Riza sighed grudgingly, but didn't disobey. "What exactly are you making?" she wanted to know.

"It's a rough approximation of an Aruegan dish called paella," Roy told her. "I'll admit I'm taking some pretty large liberties with what goes in, but it's never turned out horribly."

Riza had to smile. "Has it ever turned out badly?"

"For you, I'm trying especially hard," was Roy's reply. "Give it five minutes."

* * *

"So…?"

Riza took a small bite, then another. "It's different, but I like it."

"You're not sparing my feelings, are you?" Roy took a bite. "Don't answer that. I'd like to think you speak freely around me, and I was paying attention."

"For the record, I am not sparing your feelings," Riza clarified. "I'd like the recipe, if you wouldn't mind."

Roy grimaced. "Ah, that's the thing. I take so much liberty, that I don't really have a hard-and-fast recipe." He sighed, then looked up and shot Riza a wink. "I guess I'll just have to come over and make it again."

**A/N: I was advised to move the song to the top. Now, this makes complete sense, so why didn't I do that before? I have no idea.**


	32. Shirt

**32. Shirt**

**A/N: Song: "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)" by Nine Days.**

**Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

It wasn't natural, Roy thought. Riza was a perfectly attractive young lady, and she showed it off in her own modest way, but why did she wear such high-backed shirts? Even her lighter summer shirts, even the sleeveless ones... every single shirt was almost a turtleneck.

None of them were nearly as sheer as the fashion was these days, either—not that Roy thought that Riza should wear anything revealing. The way she dressed was fine, but it made him wonder.

Did she have a scar? A birthmark? Something she didn't want Roy to see?

Something she didn't want her father to see? No—Riza wasn't like that. She couldn't be!

Even so, Roy just couldn't help but wonder…

**A/N: I've been a bit remiss about it lately, but I just wanted to publicly thank all of you for reading and reviewing. It really makes me happy to know what's going on--what I should keep doing, what I should change... you get it, right?**


	33. A Walk

**33. A Walk**

It was the first time after the long gray spell of winter that the skies were blue and that sun shined down. A perfect day for a walk.

Riza strolled along with Black Hayate, stopping every so often for the puppy to sniff his surroundings.

They had been out for more than two hours—more than usual, but it was such a nice day—and Riza was starting to think about heading back when Hayate turned around, seeming to point at something.

Riza turned, too, a little worried at something that would excite Hayate so much.

"Hello, Lieutenant, Hayate." Having greeted the pair, Roy bent to scratch Hayate behind the ears.

"Fancy meeting you here, Sir," Riza replied, a little thrown off balance.

"Indeed." Roy straightened up. "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

Riza nodded. "I'm glad I got to bring Hayate on such a long walk. Normally it's just around the block or something a couple of times a day, but he's been going a little stir-crazy with the rain lately."

Roy smiled. "I think we all have. I had to get out, too, when I saw how nice a day it was."

They walked in silence for a while.

"I really should be heading back to my apartment, Sir," Riza told him at last. "I have some cleaning to do."

Roy's face fell a little. "All right. Well, I suppose we'll have our noses to the grindstone soon enough, right?"

Riza smiled. "Right. Good day, Sir."

"Good day, Lieutenant."

Riza knew Roy was watching them as they walked away, just as she'd seen him looking out of the window of his apartment when they'd made their way down his street earlier that day.

_You may be good at being sneaky, Colonel, but you should know that you can't fool a sniper._

**A/N: Song: "The Dog Song" by Nellie McKay.**


	34. Telephone

**34. Telephone**

**A/N: Song: "They" by Jem.**

Roy half-glared at the telephone. No, everything _wasn't_ all right.

Riza was used to pretending to something that she didn't feel over the phone, but so was Roy. And he knew that she was scared, and scared into silence.

So, it was the military somehow. But why? She was valuable only as long as she was alive.

But maybe they hadn't threatened _her_. There were plenty of people Riza cared about, and with the situation Ed's mechanic was in…

He'd find out. One way or another, he'd get the truth of why she was so scared. The homunculi were crazy if they thought they could keep that from him. The Flame Alchemist knew his Lieutenant too well for that—they should know that by now.

Roy sighed and finally hung the telephone up. Time to go get some answers.


	35. Letter

**35. Letter**

**A/N: Song: "Only One" by YellowCard.**

_I'm sorry. Forgive me. If I could explain, I would. Just know that you will be fine, no matter what, because you have to be, even though it might seem like it's all over._

* * *

"A letter?" Havoc took the envelope.

"More like a note," Roy admitted. "But it says more than a letter ever could, I hope."

"And you said to give it to her only if the worst should happen?"

Roy nodded.

In an instant, Havoc tore up the envelope and its contents until he was sure they could never be pieced back together as Roy watched incredulously. "I'm not doing that. I won't. Because the worst won't happen. It might get bad, Chief, but you really need to have more faith in your ability to make things right. I do. Riza does."

Shutting his mouth with an almost audible _click_, Roy turned on his heel and left, furious that Havoc had the gall to disobey, but secretly relieved that someone—two someones, in fact—still believed in him.

**A/N: No idea whether this one works or not.**


	36. Dog

**36. Dog**

**A/N: Song at the end because you won't take this seriously if you read it before. Sorry.**

Roy hated it, but he couldn't help himself: he was jealous.

It wasn't as though it was the same at all: The looks Riza gave the puppy were more motherly than anything, but it was that her attention was so wholeheartedly devoted to the pitiful little thing that made Roy fume.

Oh, sure, Hayate was adorable. (Weren't all puppies?) And yes, he needed someone to show him how to behave, Roy supposed.

But that meant that Riza had committed the next however many years the dog would be around to taking care of it. Roy knew Riza would never put Hayate ahead of him, that his goal always came first, even before raising a puppy, so why did he care so much? He thought he was ready and willing to let go, should something come up. Not that there was much of a chance of that, but one never could count out the possibility.

And then Roy realized what it was: he needed Riza as much as Hayate did.

Just as suddenly, Roy's jealousy changed to respect, but with a hint of annoyance.

If he was right, that meant that he was just as much a dog as Hayate.

**A/N: Song: "Pretty Fly For a White Guy" by Offspring.**

**Okay, let me explain the song: I wrote this, and then I was like, "Roy's just being so **_**lame**_** here! I need something to reflect that."**


	37. Match

**37. Match**

**A/N: Song: "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. (Yeah, I know that this probably isn't the sort of match I took it to be, but it didn't specify, so love it or leave it!)**

What she liked about Roy, Riza sometimes didn't know.

They'd always been opposites. Not polar opposites, but opposite enough that it made them an odd match.

Roy tended to be a bit more extroverted, more able to articulate what he was feeling (whether he actually meant to or not), more spontaneous. All were qualities Riza could respect, but she never thought they were particularly attractive.

Or hadn't, anyway, she had to correct herself, though it wasn't like they had ever really been particularly repulsive, either.

But that couldn't be it. It wasn't, she knew.

Sometimes it took a while, but in the end, it was always the same thing that had brought them together: The dream of a brighter future.


	38. Mischief

**38. Mischief**

**A/N: Song: "Can't Fight the Moonlight" by Leann Rimes.**

It was Maes, always and every time.

Mistletoe in the doorway before Winter Solstice?

"Hughes!"

An elbow in the ribs or a literal shove in the "right" direction?

"Maes!"

The most un-subtle of suggestions? Every day? Accompanied by photos?

"Would you just stop? You're driving me crazy with this monkey business!"

A shrug and a grin. "You call it mischief, Roy, but I call it facilitating."

Grumbling. "Fine. I don't care what you call it. Do it one more time, and you'll be called 'dinner', got it?"

Laughter. "Just keep on trying to fight it, Roy. You'll give in sooner or later. Unless you're telling me you've already…" A dramatic, exaggerated gasp.

A menacing glare. "I warned you, Maes…"

"Would you look at the time? I'm late for a meeting! Later, Roy!" Footfalls sprinting down the hall.

An annoyed sigh. "And to think, half the reason he's annoying is because he's right."

**A/N: ****…****More like you can't fight Maes's determination to facilitate, but whatever…**


	39. Sly Person

**39. Sly Person**

**A/N: Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

It had taken a while for Roy to notice, but when he did, it was a constant source of irritation.

That kid (not that Roy was much older) was always hanging around!

When Roy asked casually, Riza had rolled her eyes in exasperation, and for a moment, Roy thought he was in trouble. As it turned out, the young man had designs on becoming an alchemist simply by marrying into a family with an incredibly powerful alchemist.

Any discouragement was taken as playing coy or denial of Riza's "true feelings". Roy knew that, as annoyed as he was, it was probably infinitely worse for Riza.

* * *

"Hey, can I talk to you a moment?"

The boy walked over. "Sure."

Roy smiled, trying to seem congenial in case anyone was watching. "So, I've noticed that you've been sneaking around here quite a lot. What's up?"

Shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot, the young man answered, "Well, I just thought… I mean, Riza's really pretty, right? And nice? And her dad's an _amazing_ alchemist."

Roy nodded. "All true."

The boy sighed with relief. "Good. So you understand."

"I understand that you're being a bother." Roy dropped all pretense of being friendly. "And _nobody_ in this house takes kindly to that. Understand, kid?"

With an audible gulp and a nod, the other boy fled.

* * *

Riza sighed, half-annoyed, half content. "While I'd hoped to be able to deal with it on my own… Thank you, Roy."

Roy shrugged. "No problem. He was bothering me, too. Sometimes, it takes just blunt honesty to deal with someone who thinks they're a sly person."

**A/N: Song: "That's All" by Genesis.**


	40. Halves

**40. Halves**

**A/N: Song: "Break Even" by The Script. Kinda more Roy's point of view, but it gets the point across, eh? **

**Takes place shortly after Mustang's team is split up.**

"Hey, Chief," Havoc greeted his second visitor of the day.

Roy sighed, collapsed into the chair by Havoc's bed, and ran a hand through his hair.

"She's okay. Just visited an hour ago. Seemed fine. Maybe even a bit more relaxed. Bet Bradley's better about his paperwork, huh?" Havoc tried to smile, but Roy's look told him the joke had fallen miserably flat.

Half to himself, half to Havoc, Roy mumbled, "She was my better half."

"She still is." Havoc pulled a cigarette from the pack on his bedside table and lit it. "Don't give her up for dead, Chief. She deserves more respect than that."

"If she dies, the blood's on my hands, Havoc. I don't think I could bear that."

Havoc was unsure if he should say what he thought, but in the end, he did, if rather quietly. "But you would if it meant making it to the top, right?"

Roy nodded slowly. "It's just all falling down around me, Havoc, and I'm going to pieces, too."

"No pressure, Colonel, but the sooner you finish, the sooner you can be put back together again, the sooner you can get your better half back, the sooner you can be whole." Havoc took a drag. "I know you can. _You_ know you can. _She_ knows you can. We all _know_ you _can_, but if you will or not is up to you. So, will you? To get your better half back?"

With an unmistakable glint of determination in his eyes, Roy answered, "_Yes._"

**A/N: Wow… Not even half way through, and there's over 5000 hits and 100 reviews! Thank you and congratulations to Starry Pink, the author of the 100th review! **

**To the rest of you readers/reviewers! Thank you, all of you! It's high time I paid you public tribute, so many thanks to the following, who have submitted reviews: Starry Pink, causmicfire, Ruingaraf, BrightBlackField2007, RoyxRizaFan, hand-made-city, NinjaWriter11, Steph's, Red Walrus, and kate4934. As these lovely people can attest to, I make attempts to reply to each and every one. Some meet with more success than others, depending on how awake I am, but I still take the time to thank you!**

**So keep on reading, start reviewing if you wish, and please enjoy the next 60!**


	41. Coat

**41. Coat**

**A/N: Song: "Who I am Hates Who I've Been" by Relient K. (I don't know—re-reading this just reminded me of this song.)**

Every time they put on those coats, they become different people. Invincible, untouchable, transcending the human condition to become heroes.

Or villains, because there are people wearing those coats who would want to destroy everything that the others stand for. Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

And so it's a fine line the heroes walk, putting on those coats. They want to stop the villains and make it to the top—together, because that's the only way they can survive.

But once there, once on the seat of absolute power, a whole new struggle begins, and who's to keep the worst from happening? Perhaps she promised to shoot, but that power could turn on her, stop her somehow, and it will all have been for naught.

Yet, even knowing this, they keep on fighting to make it to the top. Once they make it, they can pass the torch to those who don't wear the coat, those who don't have that same thirst for power.

All they can do is hope that, one way or another, the coat will not be their downfall.

**A/N: Bah—Roy's too good to be corrupted by power!**


	42. Day Off

**42. Day Off**

**A/N: Song: "Beautiful Morning" by Ace of Base.**

It had been a long time since either of them had had a day off. A long, hard time. It seemed as though things would never come together.

But to be able to sleep in, to do things at their leisure, to not have to follow orders and protocol had the almost magical effect of moving all of life's hardships to the back of their minds.

Even better was being able to spend that time together. It wasn't anything special—it never was. It was just two people enjoying each other's company while going about their day.

But it didn't have to be special, and, in fact, it shouldn't be. It was times like these that they cherished, and both knew that these were the memories that kept them sane the rest of the time.

It was this Roy and Riza remembered as they sat on a park bench, watching the sun come up. It was uncomplicated, almost mindless, and entirely peaceful.

And that was why it was enough.


	43. Wind

**43. Wind**

**A/N: Takes place during Ishbal.**

**A/N: Song: "Sandstorm" by Darude.**

"Dust storm! Get to shelter! There's a dust storm coming!"

Roy could see it coming in—no time to get back to the base camp. He'd been through enough of them to know.

He knew it had been too quiet this morning! While he had been glad for the reprieve, though, he'd known that something was amiss.

The wind stirred his hair, and he felt the first few grains of dust start lashing at his skin.

"Major Mustang!" the voice cut high and clear across the pavilion where Roy was standing. Riza held the door open to an abandoned storefront. "Why are you standing there, Sir? Move! Once that thing hits, you'll be lucky to stay alive if you stay out there!"

The wind was picking up. Roy dashed over, nearly bowling Riza over. She slammed the door shut and started heaping furniture up against it. Roy grabbed a rug and stuffed it into the crack under the door. As far as it went, Riza, being a sniper, had picked a fairly good place.

Roy said as much, but the wind was now howling in full force outside, the particles it carried beating relentlessly against anything in its path.

"What?" Riza yelled as she huddled in a corner. She shook her head. "Never mind! You can tell me when this is over!"

_Oh, believe me—I will._


	44. Hair

**44. Hair**

**A/N: ****Song: "That Thing You Do!" by The Wonders.**

** Inspired by the "Simple People" gaiden.**

It was odd that Roy would just realize it one day, but it happened.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye."

She looked up from her paperwork. "Sir?"

Roy bit his lip. This was going to sound _so_ stupid! "I just… Your hair looks nice. I like it."

The faintest hint of pink crept up Riza's cheeks. "Thank you, Colonel." She turned back to her paperwork.

The rest of the men looked at Roy as though he had sprouted purple wings and a daisy out the top of his head. "What are you staring at? Can't a man have and voice an opinion?" Roy snapped. "Get back to work!"

_Or at least look like you are._ Roy sighed and picked up his pen, but his eyes were still on Riza. _It'll be all right if we're a little behind today, I suppose._


	45. Awakening

**45. Awakening**

**A/N: ****A/N: Song: "Time of Dying" by Three Days Grace**

**Chapter 101, just after May saves Riza. Riza 1****st**** person.**

Maybe I had actually died—I didn't know. It was odd, the sensation that went through me. It felt as though things were being made right.

Pain and exhaustion was all I knew in the next moments. I had room in my senses for nothing else. I could barely even open my eyes, but I owed it to Roy to let him know I was alive, so I forced my eyes open.

I didn't know whether I had passed out for a moment or actually died, but I was awake now, and that was all that mattered. And I would stay alive and awake until this was over. I had to. I had promised. To Roy. For Roy. But I had reached my limit. I would do what it took to stay alive—that was all I could do. I just hoped that was enough.**  
**


	46. All Night Vigil, Sleepless Night

**46. All Night Vigil/Sleepless Night**

**A/N: Song: "What Have You Done" by Within Temptation feat. Keith Caputo**

**Roy, first person, after Roy burns Riza's back.**

What had happened had happened, and I couldn't take it back.

Not, she would argue, that I should. This was what she had wanted, or said she had wanted, or needed, or _something_. It wasn't supposed to be my fault.

But it was. Whether anyone else acknowledged this was irrelevant—I'd been the one to seek and find. I'd been the one to cause such massive destruction. That was what had led to this.

My stomach was still churning, though I'd long since rid myself of its contents. The smells of destruction and sickness still lingered, and that was enough.

I didn't know if it would really make all that much of a difference, but I owed it to her to make sure she was all right. It had occurred to me that maybe I should get someone trustworthy to check her out—Knox, perhaps. He was dispassionate and discreet.

But even if I knew, I wasn't going to get any sleep. I was just going to sit there, looking and feeling dead until I knew she wasn't. I was tired of all of it, but that was exactly why I wouldn't be sleeping.

**A/N: Whoa… li'l disjointed there, Roy.**


	47. In the dead of the night

**47. In the dead of the night**

**A/N: ****Song: "Fireflies" by Owl City.**

**During Roy's apprenticeship.**

Riza let out a small sigh as she escaped to the relative cool of the porch.

However, as she found, she was not the only one looking for peace and quiet.

Roy was sprawled out on the porch swing, transfixed by the fireflies. Riza had to smile—this was as innocent as she had ever seen Roy look. "You've never seen fireflies before?"

Turning sharply, Roy nearly fell off his perch. "I have!" he retorted. "Just not since I was little. I actually live inside city limits, if you've forgotten." He made room for Riza to sit. "You still like watching them?"

Riza nodded. "They're nice. Peaceful. Calming."

"Fascinating," Roy said as his one-word rationale.

After that, they were silent.

* * *

Creeping up over the horizon, the sun was the only one the next morning to glimpse the two still on the porch swing, heads on each other's shoulders, in peaceful slumber.

And if it could do such a thing, it would have smiled at the sight, proud that there were still moments of peace, even if it wasn't there for all of them.


	48. Side of Face

**48. Side of Face**

**A/N: Song: "Never Again" by Nickelback.**

** Takes place during chapter 74. Roy 1****st**** person POV.**

I hadn't forgotten—only pushed it to the back of my mind. But now that I had the chance, I had to get some information.

Thankfully, she knew. She knew, and she told me.

So why was I still worried? Why was there still something that didn't seem right?

I got my answer as she rose to leave—the scratch on the side of her face.

My first instinct was to give chase and get the truth, but if our previous conversation was any indication, we were being watched everywhere.

My second instinct was no better—to find Selim and dispose of him. He hadn't needed to go that far, and he knew it, especially if he was a homunculus. He just enjoyed being able to terrorize people.

Once I got my hands on him, he would have that terror revisited on him until it was the last thing he knew. _Nobody_ hurts anyone close to me and gets away with it.

**A/N: Riza so should NOT have to take this!**


	49. Cold Hands

**49. Cold Hands**

**A/N: ****Song: "Sleigh Ride". As in the Christmas carol.**

** Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

Riza shivered and rubbed her hands together vigorously, but to no avail. Why she hadn't done the shopping earlier, she didn't know, but she did know she'd never wait until the middle of a cold snap again.

She was so focused on warming up her hands that she didn't even hear Roy coming. As he grabbed her hands, she was so caught off-guard that she was unable to stifle a small shriek.

"Basic survival: if you're cold, the best source of heat is skin-to-skin contact with someone else," Roy murmured.

Riza glared up at him, feeling herself flush with embarrassment. To her great surprise, he was concentrated on the task at hand, not being at all condescending or flirtatious. "I do not believe I asked for your help."

Now Roy's small smile made itself known as he met Riza's gaze. "Sometimes, the best help is that which is freely given." He loosened his grip on her hands, and after a moment, Riza jerked backward, turned, and left, hastily throwing a "thank you" over her shoulder.

"You're welcome." Even as Roy noticed how cold his hands were, he still smiled. _You'll be just fine, Riza._

**A/N: "Task at hand"… no pun intended, I swear! And the end... I only meant that Roy knows that Riza will be an upstanding member of society. Not like, "Oh, for a wife, I suppose you'll do" but "You're a great person and I respect you." (I felt it a bit ambiguous to just leave it without explanation.)**


	50. Fingertips

**50. Fingertips**

**A/N: "Love Will Find a Way" from "The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride".**

**Post-manga, my own little world. Spoilers for chapter 102.**

Roy had always heard that when one sense failed, the other senses tended to compensate, and now he knew it to be true. His hearing was much sharper than it had ever been, so much so that he could turn and pinpoint almost exactly where a noise was coming from, something most people still found uncanny.

His sense of touch, too, had sharpened, and while it didn't seem like much, something very important had come out of it.

On occasion, when Roy was not in the highest of spirits, a hand would brush his, and it was always the same hand—he knew it so well after all those years.

No words were needed, because Riza's touch said everything: I'm here for you, and I'm not leaving. Not now, and not ever. Believe me.

_I've never doubted you for a second. How stupid would I be to start now?_

He always brushed his fingertips along her palm to let her know she was understood, and to send a message of his own:

_And in whatever capacity I can be, I will always be there for you._

**A/N: Half-way there!**

**To all of you readers/reviewers: Wow, 8000+ hits and 117 reviews—thank you so much! Special (only 'cause I know who they are—don't review, and you remain anonymous, but thanked all the same!) thanks to the following: Starry Pink, causmicfire, Ruingaraf, BrightBlackField2007, RoyxRizaFan, hand-made-city, NinjaWriter11, Steph's, Red Walrus, .Ne, and kate4934. I still try to reply to each and every one, but it's the last 4 weeks of the school year, so while I will still try to acknowledge you, you might get a general "thanks" and that's it.**


	51. Embracing from the back

**51. Embracing from the back**

**A/N: Song: "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers**

**Me and my imaginings of post-manga life as of chapter 102.**

It wasn't a bad day, per se. Just not the best, and that was fine, because it was better than the worst.

Still…

Riza sighed, the tail end turning right around into a bit of a gasp as a pair of arms encircled her from behind.

"I'm okay," she promised. "I'm fine, really."

"I didn't think you weren't," Roy told her. "But some days are just… not what you'd want them to be. And everyone needs to be reminded every now and then, no matter the circumstances, that someone supports them."

Riza let herself lean back just a little and closed her eyes. "Thank you."

Roy said nothing. He didn't have to. They'd become so used to communicating wordlessly that words were now entirely inadequate. Embraces, after all, gave the love and support that words never could.


	52. Hair Clip

**52. Hair Clip**

**A/N: ****Song: "Black Balloon" by Goo Goo Dolls**

"You couldn't just put it back with elastic?"

"It could still swing forward. I don't like the look, anyway." Riza closed her eyes for a moment and sighed. "Why are you so dead-set against my wearing a hair clip?"

Roy sighed, too. "I know this is going to sound crazy, but being raised by Chris… my upbringing was hardly what you'd call normal. Not that either of us can claim a normal childhood, I know, but just hear me out: I know girls who have used their hair clips as weapons. I also know that girls who were injured when arguments broke out and they got shoved into a wall or something. I actually saw it happen once, and I would've killed the guy if Chris hadn't shot him herself." He shuddered. "There was so much blood… The doctor said that if it had gone in at the right angle, it could have damaged or even severed something. As it was, she was in the hospital for a while."

"And you think I'd let anybody get close enough to touch me?" Riza sounded just a little insulted.

"Not on purpose, no, but imagine being in a car crash or something… I know it seems paranoid, but that's just how much I care for you. I don't want to lose the best damn sharpshooter in all of Amestris… and I don't want to lose _you_." Roy took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "But I can't stop you."

"I'll be careful," Riza promised before turning and walking down the hall.

"It's not you being reckless that I'm worried about," Roy muttered. "It's the world being careless with you."

**A/N: I got the idea for this reading chapter 94, when Envy slams Riza into the ground. I saw the clip break or come out or whatever, and, having had long hair myself, I know just how much it hurts when something digs into your scalp. It's not fun at all.**

**So maybe I blew it out of proportion a teensy bit, but I wanted Roy to dislike the hair clip not just for aesthetic reasons, but something else, so safety it was.**


	53. Sigh

**53. Sigh**

**A/N: Song: "Russian Roulette" by Rihanna**

"Pull the trigger, Lieutenant."

I inhale and exhale shakily, terrified. I'd raised the revolver to my head after removing all but one bullet and spinning the cylinder.

"Don't do it!"

I lock eyes with Roy, reminding myself exactly why I'm risking death.

"I live, we both go free," I verify.

"You do nothing, I kill the Colonel," is the reply.

"No!"

I pull the trigger, unable to stop from squeezing my eyes shut at the last second.

_CLICK._

I sigh, then open my eyes. We're still alive, and my opponent stands there, shocked. Then, he raises his own pistol.

No time to think—I have to act now. I won't make it to him in time. I raise my revolver and pull the trigger again, frightened that it won't be the right one.

_BANG!_

But it is, and the monster falls to the floor, never to force another impossible choice.

I sigh again.

"Lieutenant!"

It hurts. I look down. A graze—nowhere near fatal, but after everything I've gone through, I need to rest. I feel Roy's arms around me, trying to support me, and I realize I'm already on my knees.

"Hang in there, Lieutenant! Come on—stay with me!"

I don't even have the strength to apologize, and the Colonel's voice is the last thing I hear before losing consciousness completely.

**A/N: This one's weird, but I kinda like it. I'd've liked it better if I'd written it better. :)**


	54. O Child Sama

**54. O Child-Sama**

**A/N: Song: "Return to Pooh Corner" by Kenny Loggins (My kindergarten teacher used to play this during naptime. Every time I hear it, I tear up.)**

"I miss being a kid," Roy said suddenly one day.

Riza looked at him. "Sir?"

"I mean, not having responsibilities was great and all, but I miss having such blind faith that everything would turn out all right in the end." He punctuated this with a sigh.

"You still do, Sir," Riza had to say with a smile. "And that's why I'm here."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "To correct me?"

Riza shook her head, her grin still spreading. "No, Sir. So that I can believe, too."


	55. Infectious Crying

**55. Infectious Crying**

**A/N: This was inspired by Rob Thomas's "Her Diamonds". **

"You sure you'll be all right?"

"Yes. I'll be fine."

Roy tossed a worried glance at Riza's retreating back as she walked down the hall to her bedroom. At least she hadn't been there for most of it, but still…

_Please, take care of my daughter…_

"Your daughter's more resilient than you give her credit for, Mr. Hawkeye," Roy sighed. "Even so…"

He would give it a few minutes.

* * *

He had been right. Sort of.

It was rude to eavesdrop, but did that really count when the subject in question had just witnessed her father's death a few hours earlier? Roy was concerned, after all.

Still, it was painful to listen. Soft, wordless sobs drifted out from under the door.

"Riza?" He waited a moment. "Riza…" Taking a gamble, he pushed the door open.

Riza was sitting on the edge of her bed, half-doubled over as sobs wracked her body. She barely even looked up, though Roy got the feeling she was aware of his presence.

The corners of his eyes tightened just a little, and he could feel the headache coming on. He was going to start crying, too.

He went over and sat next to Riza on the bed, putting an arm around her shoulders. With what had to be one of her most intimate gestures by far, she turned and began sobbing into his shirt.

"It hurts."

He caught the words just barely, but he knew he had heard correctly.

"I wish I could make it stop," Roy croaked as his own tears began to fall freely.

"Me, too."

It was over. Both of them absolutely dissolved into tears, no longer able to keep the brave faces they'd needed. They were free to mourn, and mourn they did.


	56. Skillful, Clumsy

**56. Skillful & Clumsy**

**A/N: Song: "Her Eyes" by Pat Monahan**

"Sir…"

It was a common refrain, that sigh of Riza's. Usually, it was followed by, "Sometimes, I wonder why I put up with you."

Roy tried to be a good person, he really did! But there was only so much paper-signing, meeting-attending, and general ass-kissing he could take before he needed a break.

But when he took those breaks, even he wondered why Riza put up with him.

This was usually followed by some clumsy attempt to make it up to her in the form of dinner or staying late to finish work, and she would always somewhat grudgingly accept.

What she would never say was that Roy might not have been good at getting work done, but damn him, he was more skillful than he realized at making up for it!


	57. Feigning Sleep

**57. Feigning Sleep**

**A/N:**** The song for this one: "Lullaby for a Stormy Night" by Vienna Teng.**

**Takes place after 55 (Infectious Crying).**

Roy blinked. He was in an awkward position: his feet hung off the bed, and one of his arms was pinned down. It took him a moment to re-orient himself and remember that he and Riza had fallen asleep in her room, too emotionally spent to move after the seemingly endless deluge of tears had run dry.

Apparently, he'd fallen asleep still embracing Riza, which would account for why he couldn't move his arm. He began to try to pull it out from under Riza, only to have her shift and nearly fall off the narrow bed.

Pulling the one arm back, Roy quickly caught her with the other hand and rolled her back up next to him.

"Hm?"

Roy immediately let his arm go limp and closed his eyes. Riza deserved what peace she could get, and he was not about to let her think she should be awake for any reason.

Soon enough, Riza was breathing evenly again, but even knowing that she could sleep, Roy couldn't fall back asleep. He was too worried about what was to come next, considering he would be able to stay only long enough to help arrange (and maybe attend) his teacher's funeral.

His brain was too tired to actually formulate anything at this point, though. He might as well pretend to sleep.

If that went well, maybe he could pretend to face tomorrow.


	58. Before Falling Asleep

**58. Before Falling Asleep**

******A/N: Song: "Time After Time" by Quietdrive**

**Set during Roy's apprenticeship.**

It was long past the time Roy should have been asleep, but he wasn't.

Instead, he had his arms up behind his head, creating a little nest.

He knew that Riza's room was on the other side of the wall, and, for whatever reason, it was driving him just a little crazy.

_What's the matter with me? Jeez…_ Roy groaned and pushed himself upright. He padded carefully to the door and opened it, only to walk into another person passing by his door.

"Ah!"

Without thinking, Roy grabbed Riza's arm to steady her. It was only after she had regained her footing and pulled her arm away that Roy really registered that it was, in fact, his teacher's daughter he had just run into.

In the middle of the night, no less.

"Ah… Sorry. Couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I."

They stared at each other for a moment, then headed back to their respective rooms.

It was instances such as that that made the nights incredibly long. There was just too much to think about before falling asleep.


	59. Gift

**59. Gift**

******A/N: Song: "Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne—Just that neither ever says what you know they're thinking in these situations, especially in my fics.**  


**A companion to "Covered Eyes". This time, it's Roy's birthday.**

Roy looked up at the sound of someone knocking on his door. "Come in."

Riza entered with a long-ish, flat box and a somewhat shy, "Happy birthday."

Roy grinned, looking and feeling a bit sheepish for some reason. "You shouldn't have."

Handing the box to him, Riza shrugged. "It's nothing special."

Upon opening the box, Roy found himself agreeing and disagreeing at the same time: the notebook and pens were plain, but of high quality, and he'd been needing both. _Trust her to get me something practical._

It wasn't bad, he knew. Riza had gone to the effort of finding what Roy needed, rather than giving him something pointless.

He looked up at her and smiled. "Thank you very much, Riza."

"You're welcome."

She seemed to debate something for a moment, then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before exiting the room.

While he was appreciative for the supplies, Roy couldn't help but think of that kiss as his favorite part of the present.


	60. At the Window

**60. At the window**

******A/N: Song: "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts**  


Something unusual caught Riza's attention as she read in her room: someone was approaching the house.

Unusual, but not unheard of, especially if it was who she thought it was.

She whisked the curtain back from the window, eyes widening as her guess proved to be accurate.

_What's Roy doing here?_

She had enough time to go let her father know. Mr. Hawkeye looked steadily at her. "So, he's come to say good bye, has he? Tell me, was he wearing a military uniform?"

Riza nodded, though she hadn't really registered it in her surprise at seeing Roy.

Her father let out a disgusted bark of laughter. "Send him up when he gets here. I'm ready to let that fool go."

Again, Riza nodded and turned to go wait at the door, but she caught her father's last look: it was a mixture of parental pride and concern, but he seemed resolved.

It gave her the shivers. Something wasn't right. This wasn't just "Good bye, and maybe we'll meet again someday." The feeling of permanence scared her, and it was a feeling exuded solely by her father.

It was as if he was saying good bye to her, too.


	61. Diary, Journal

**61. Diary/Journal**

******A/N: Song: "The Book I'm Afraid to Write" by Sting**

**Roy 1st person**

They are risky things, journals. Especially if not done properly.

You can't leave them out just anywhere, no matter how well coded they are, because the one person who picks it up will be the one able to decipher it.

And then there's the danger to oneself: reading what you have written can break you. If you've had successes, you can become overconfident. If you've had failures, you feel that all is lost.

Still, I keep one. It keeps me honest, knocks me down a peg when I need it, inspires me when I feel that there's nothing left for me. It reminds me of all I have and all that I have to work for.

And it sometimes reminds me that there are people waiting for me, supporting me, and that she is one of them.

Somehow, that never fails to give me the courage to keep this record.


	62. A reason to quarrel

**62. A reason to quarrel**

******A/N: Song: "Tangled Up In Me" by Skye Sweetnam (Only I guess it's kinda more Roy's personality...)**  


It was the same thing over and over again.

She would tell him to do his work, he would agree grudgingly and start looking through papers, only to be distracted again within five minutes, aggravating poor Lieutenant Hawkeye to no end.

Most people asked her why she put up with it, and her answer was generally something noncommittal that involved a glare in Roy's direction.

Then there were the people who asked Roy why he tortured his poor lieutenant. His answer was usually just as vague as Riza's, but with an apologetic look in her direction. Just like Riza, he'd never give his real reason.

The only reason to fight, Roy figured, was so that one could experience the joy of making up. That was why he always waited on papers—facing Riza's wrath was well worth seeing her smile in the end.


	63. Special Seat

**63. Special Seat**

******A/N: Song: "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch.**  


There was a sort of hierarchy to the seating in the office they all shared.

Protocol didn't demand it (even if it had, Roy probably wouldn't have really enforced it), nor did anything else. It had simply always been that way.

Some thought it was because of her supposed "babysitter" status and his "slacker" reputation. Some said it was because Riza herself wanted to maintain order even if she didn't need to. Some said it was because when Roy looked up, the first thing he would want to see was a beautiful woman, and it wasn't as though Riza wasn't attractive.

Those last people were sort of right. But only sort of.

It was more just the assurance that she was there, and that she always would be. Of course, she also kept him honest about his work, and sometimes that made her a little testy, but he didn't mind. In the end, she was always in that special seat, there for him, and that was all he cared about.


	64. The scenery from a car seat

**64. The scenery from a car seat**

**A/N: Song: "Blue Christmas" by, like, a bajillion different people. (Yeah, that's right—bajillion.) I was listening to the version from the David Foster Christmas Album, though.**

**Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship, but he's coming home for… whatever wintertime holiday.**

Roy sighed and propped his chin up with his hand.

Central was beautiful in the winter: lights and garlands strung up everywhere, the diamond dusting of frost in the mornings, a general air of merriment that touched the most inanimate of objects… he could see how everyone called it magical or wonderful or a million other things, not one of them disparaging.

While he could even agree with the nostalgic wintertime sentiments, he appreciated the warmth inside the taxi as it brought him from the train station to Chris's, too.

As the sun went down and the lights started to glow softy, he couldn't help but think that the Hawkeye house was infinitely more comfortable. There was something to be said for Central's big city romance, but to Roy, the sense of family he got from the Hawkeyes, never mind how very disjointed and dysfunctional, was something Central could never compare to.


	65. The you reflected in the glass

**65. The you reflected in the glass**

**A/N: Song: "Light In Your Eyes" by Sheryl Crow**

**Pretending Roy has some sort of Xingese in his blood somewhere.**

Dark grey eyes, slightly narrow and a little slanted—a reminder that we might not all be of the same stock, but we're all still people.

Reasonably sized, straight nose—well, straight enough. He'd taken a few hits through the years. _"Pretty-faced guy like you wouldn't last ten seconds!" "Oh yeah? Try me…"_

Short, slightly bristly but mostly compliant black hair—a little long in the bangs, but it served him well when he had to hide an emotion or six.

Straight enough teeth, but an otherwise unremarkable mouth—but as with the eyes, some emotion was always tugging at the corners.

Strong-ish jaw line, chin a bit square—the mark of someone determined and well-balanced, if pictures of great leaders were to be believed.

Slightly small (almost unnoticeably so) ears—he could remember his mother saying something once about how that said he was impulsive. She'd been right.

Relatively high cheekbones—another sign of drive, again according to his mother.

As much as he knew that looks didn't always reflect the person within, Roy couldn't help analyzing himself sometimes. Not really due to vanity (though he did have a couple of scars he was proud of, and more than a few that he disliked), but more just to try and see what someone's first impression of him was. He could have asked, but he didn't want people to think he was that vain, nor did he want people to be nice about it. He wanted as close to honest as he could get, and Roy did hold himself to quite the standard.

Hopefully, that would be enough to make a start. If his looks could hold attention long enough, hopefully his deeds could do more. He'd have to be careful—a pretty face could just as easily conceal an ugly soul as hint at a beautiful one, and those who were once burned were more often than not twice shy—but he could do it. He really could.

"_Do you think I could lead the country?" he had asked Riza one day._

_Riza had given him quite a thorough looking-over. "I think people would listen to you, but I don't know you well enough to really say whether or not you'd make a good leader."_

He'd asked her a few times since then and gotten an answer that was more affirmative than not each time.

Obviously, if his looks hadn't changed much, he was doing _something_ right.

**A/N: The thing about the ears I got off a website when I googled "earlobes and personality".**

**Same sort of deal with cheekbones, only I googled "face reading cheeks".**

**And I'm totally guessing as to the color of Roy's eyes. They always appear black, but I tend to think they're not brown for some reason. I'd say dark grey or dark blue is more likely for whatever reason.**


	66. The Pounding of a Heart

**66. The Pounding of a Heart **

**A/N: Song: "Until the Day I Die" by Story of the Year (I know I used this for the same situation in Second Chances, but it just works so well with this scene!)**

**Takes place during chapters 37 and 38 though I added some dialogue from my own imagination. Roy, first person.**

I tried to keep myself under control as I drove towards the building, but my heart was racing out of control, and it was all I could hear.

It was always agreed upon that I should be the last to intervene—actually, the Lieutenant insisted that I not get involved _no matter what,_ but I wasn't going to sit back and let more people die because of me.

There was always the risk that, despite every precaution, someone would be killed during an operation. I made sure that everyone who was under my command had no delusions of invincibility, but at the same time, I tried to instill the importance of being as careful as humanly possible.

Unfortunately, what we were up against wasn't human.

_She'll be fine._ I must have repeated that to myself a thousand times in that short drive, and another hundred again in my mad dash up the stairs. As much as I wanted to believe it, as much as I knew that I shouldn't doubt her skills, there was that niggling little voice asking, _But what if she isn't?_

I heard the gunshots stop and knew that that wasn't good. A voice I didn't recognize asked if it was time to eat. Pounding heart or no, I sprinted the last few yards, yanked on a glove, and snapped.

* * *

I took the scolding with as much grace as I could muster, but I was still a bit out of breath and slightly worn out.

When we were out of earshot from Fuery, I did have to turn and ask, "Were you scared?"

The Lieutenant put a hand over her heart and, with a bit of a sardonic grin, answered, "It still hasn't stopped pounding."

"It means you're alive," I pointed out, starting down the stairs again.

"We're not out of this yet, though," was the reply I got.

I frowned. "Lieutanant."

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you're alive."

For some reason, I got the feeling she was smiling just a little when she said, "I'm sorry to have worried you."

The underlying question was, _were you scared?_

I didn't have to answer. She would know that "I'm glad you're alive" meant that my heart hadn't stopped pounding, either.

**A/N: Heh. Kinda weird.**

**I wanted to use the Fray's "How to Save A Life", but I was getting nowhere with it, and, like I said, "Until the Day I Die" fits this whole section so well for me!**

**By the way, I'm sorry updates haven't been as regular as they should be. I'm helping my mom clean out her classroom, so I'm in there from 7 to 3 every day. I'll be done with that at the end of this week, though.**


	67. Quirks

**67. Quirks**

**A/N: Song: "Every Other Time" by LFO**

One could say many things about Roy Mustang.

He was handsome, smart, and determined. He cared for his subordinates more than most. He was a great alchemist.

One could not say, however, that he was a crack shot.

He'd been down at the lanes with Riza one day and after watching for a while decided to brush up, himself.

"Ten shots," he'd wagered. "I get five kills or more than you, and you don't nag me about my paperwork for a week."

Riza put her hand in his proffered one and shook. "Deal."

Nine rounds later, Roy was frowning. He was four for nine, and Riza was seven for nine. No way was he getting more than her, but he could still get five. It all came down to this one shot.

"Ready when you are, Sir."

Roy started and pulled the trigger on accident.

"No way…" Riza grabbed the binoculars. "I don't _believe_ this." She handed the binoculars to Roy, returned to her lane, and fired her last round.

Roy surveyed his handiwork and could hardly believe it, himself.

Then he took a look at Riza's last shot and gulped.

Right through the head. Instant death. No chance of survival.

"Y-you know, I only barely made it. You really don't have to—"

Riza waved this away. "You did it. Fair and square. I won't nag. But you never said anything about not doing your paperwork, so our deal holds only if you work. You don't, and the deal is void."

_Trust her to find that loophole. _"Of course."

It was odd that, since he could aim his alchemy so well, Roy couldn't shoot nearly as accurately.

It was stranger still that he had managed even fifty percent accuracy.

But it was no surprise whatsoever that, when it came down to it, it was really Riza who had won the bet.

**A/N: I wasn't going to have Roy win at first, but then, this happened, and I just had to roll with it! It was so much fun!**


	68. Song

**68. Song**

**A/N: Song: "Bring on the Wonder" by Susan Enan ft. Sarah McLalchan**

Funny how even a few bars of a song can transport you to another place and time, Roy thought.

Riza had entered the office that morning humming a song they both knew all too well, and instantly, Roy was back in Chris's bar…

* * *

On Friday nights, Chris had a live band come in and play. It so happened that Roy had brought Riza along for a weekend visit, as Chris had complained about how "Mr. Hawkeye is keeping my boy all to himself, and I don't get to see his lovely daughter!"

"Is that boy of mine avoiding you?" Chris asked Riza, a hint of a threat in her voice.

"No." Riza shook her head.

"Is he ignoring you?" Now Chris looked ready to murder.

Just then, Roy appeared with two glasses. When Chris eyed him suspiciously, Roy protested, "It's just water! I wouldn't get her drunk or anything!"

Chris narrowed and her eyes. "Then why aren't you two dancing? You need to have _some_ sort of fun!"

Riza looked ready to protest, but Roy grabbed her hand and half-pulled her onto the floor as a melancholy song started, muttering, "Trust me; you won't win."

"She asked if you were avoiding or ignoring me," Riza informed him, placing one hand on Roy's shoulder and her free one in his.

Roy looked a bit relieved, but still rolled his eyes. "That's Chris for you." He almost stopped dancing for a moment. "Have I been?"

Riza shook her head.

Neither spoke for a while, too busy listening to the music. It was about two people who had repressed their feelings for each other for too long and as a result were now at a loss as to how to begin anew.

"Riza—"

But when she looked up, Roy could say nothing. Their eyes locked, neither releasing the other from their gaze until the song ended, when each stepped away from the other as if burned. In silence, they left the floor, retrieved their water, and sat.

* * *

They hadn't talked the rest of the night, Roy remembered. They'd tried, but neither one seemed to be able to find any words.

"Riza—"

He was grateful that no one else was in the office to hear him slip up.

"Oh!" She hadn't noticed him until now.

"Is everything all right?" Roy asked, suddenly concerned.

"Oh… Yes. Everything's fine, Sir."

Their eyes had suddenly locked again.

Riza took a step back. "There's work to be done, Sir."

Roy nodded, cotton-mouthed. "Right you are, Lieutenant."

As they went to their desks, Roy cast one last, long look at Riza. He remembered the song, clearly as if it were being played right then.

"_Bring on the wonder… We got it all wrong… We pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on… Bring on the wonder… Bring on the song… I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long."_

**A/N: Whew! That was rather long!**

**I was actually planning on having it be, well, happier for one thing. It was going to be a sort of "last blast in Eastern", with everyone dancing and having a good time. I even had a different song, but it just did not want to work that way. Sad, I know.**


	69. Are You Satisfied?

**69. Are You Satisfied?**

**A/N: Song: "Long Way to Happy" by P!nk.**

**Between the time Roy leaves the Hawkeye house for good and Riza enlists, and then during and after Ishbal.**

What the hell had ever happened? It was like some demented dream that made no sense, like the past three years had just been some long, bizarre dream-turned-nightmare that she woken from gasping and drenched in sweat.

But every day, when she glanced at her back in the mirror, no—it was still there.

She shouldn't feel so _used_—she'd given that secret of her own free will, and there had been nothing improper whatsoever about it.

The sadness, too, was a little maddening. She'd known that he was going to leave; that was exactly _why_ she'd shown him the tattoo. Was it that she would have felt this way regardless?

It wasn't fair, and none of it made any sense. All Riza had been left with were questions, and all she wanted now were the answers.

And she'd get them, whatever it took. No cost was too high.

That's what she'd thought—how could she have known otherwise?

How could she have known that the answers would leave her more raw and naked than the questions would have had they grated at her for a lifetime?

And worst of all, the question that she wanted answered the most was the one she might struggle with for years and never get so much as a hint at:

_Why?_

**A/N: Whoa. The angst! Yeesh! Did I just write that? What the heck is wrong with me, anyway?**

**Er, the next theme is "Giddiness", which I promise will make up for the complete angsty weirdness of this, if it's any consolation!**


	70. Giddiness

**70. Giddiness**

**A/N: Song: "Can't Help Falling in Love" by UB40.**

It started with a photo, as it always did with Maes.

"You just have to come and see her in person! She's the most perfect little girl on Earth!"

"If I come, will you stop bugging me?"

"Maybe."

A sigh. It would at least give Maes one less thing to nag Roy about. "Fine."

And so it came to pass that Roy was scheduled to go to the Hughes household to visit Gracia and Elysia.

* * *

"Please? I know it's a bother, but I wouldn't be asking if…" Well, he hadn't asked anyone else, and Riza was the only woman in the office. "Come on, Lieutenant! You know Hughes; I need some support!"

Sigh. "All right, Sir."

And so it came to pass that Riza was convinced to join Roy.

* * *

"Congratulations, Gracia."

Riza had thought to bring a card, to which Roy had added a hasty message and signature of his own in the car.

"Thank you, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

Maes buzzed around them all the while. "What did I tell you? Isn't she the most gorgeous child you've ever seen? She's just perfect!"

"Maes, dear, they've barely seen her." Gracia lifted the little girl and held her out to her father, who took her in his arms as though any sudden movement would break her.

Immediately, his demeanor shifted, his expression more tenderhearted than excited. "Hey, Elysia, meet Roy. He's got to be the best guy you'll ever know, as Riza, here, can attest to, right?"

Riza nodded, barely managing to hide a sudden, quite unbidden blush.

Roy peered at the newborn and smiled softly. "And just so you know, your dad's a maniac, but he's always stood behind me, just like he'll always back you."

As Maes shot Roy a mock glare, Riza and Gracia exchanged glances and began to laugh.

* * *

"Just goes to show—there is still some innocence and goodness in this world. But with Maes in the military…" Roy sighed. "I hope she never has to see the less human side."

"I hope not, either," Riza agreed. "But if she does, and if for some reason Maes isn't there to explain, I get the feeling he'd want you to be the one to give her answers. After all, you're the 'best guy she'll ever know', right?"

Roy laughed. "You'd think he wants me to marry her! And yet, all this time, he's been saying…" Roy stopped himself just before saying something he would have had no way of taking back and cleared his throat nervously. "If that time ever comes… if something does happen to Maes, I don't know that I'll be able to do it alone. Would you…?"

Riza nodded. "Of course."

Roy smiled, relieved. "Thanks. _You're_ the best, Riza."

Unable to completely keep from blushing this time, Riza ginned shyly and started the car.

"Thank you, Roy."

**A/N: So, the song… It's more about just that giddy feeling you get when you love someone, so it can be applied to just about everyone here.**


	71. Premonition

**71. Premonition**

**A/N: Song: "Old School" by Hedley**

**Pretending that Riza lived somewhere close to Eastern. You'll see why.**

It was well past midnight, past the time when all of Amestris should have been asleep.

And, in the Hawkeye house, everyone was.

But, only a moment later, two sets of eyes snapped open on either side of a wall. The young man and the young woman sat up in their beds, turning to glance at the wood paneling behind them with expressions of puzzlement.

A few minutes later, it was as if nothing had happened. Both were once again asleep, their dreams all but forgotten.

* * *

"Can you believe it? Central. I'll make you proud, Mr. Hawkeye." Roy's hands were in his pockets to ward off the cold, and, despite his words, his brow was a little furrowed, his expression not quite one of happiness.

"Sir, are you ready to go?"

Roy turned to face Riza. "Yeah. Now I am." He started off in the direction they had come, offering an arm to Riza, who took it.

"He always was proud of you. I think he knew," Riza said suddenly. "And… I think I did, too. I think I knew I'd bear witness to that dream coming true. It was a little before you left to enlist. I had this dream that woke me up in the middle of the night. I was in uniform, in an office in Central, and you were there, saying that it was only the beginning, that we still had a long way to go, but that we could do it. You asked me to follow you."

"I know." Roy surprised himself by saying so. "I was there. I think… it was the same. But I never did hear your response." He stopped and turned to face Riza. "I can ask again in Central if you want, but will you follow me?"

Riza immediately snapped to attention. "I'll follow you into Hell, Sir."

As immediately as she said it, a chill went through both of them. It was as if they knew their fates had been decided already, but they shook it off and, with determined looks, set off to face what lay ahead.

**A/N: The song for this one was supposed to contrast "what we were" with "what we've become". And yet, I can't help but feel that the two are pretty much the same…**


	72. Drawing a Boundary Line

**72. Drawing a Boundary Line**

**A/N: Song: "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin**

From the beginning, it was the easiest thing and the hardest struggle by turns.

Easy because each could blame the other.

_I trusted you, and what did you do?_

_Oh please, you didn't have to trust me! Trust your instincts—isn't that what they always say?_

Hard because each needed the other so much more than words could convey.

It had been personal before all else, and it was sometimes hard to let that go, even after years of back-and-forth, hot-and-cold. The line between personal and professional had blurred so often that it was easy to shoot a glance that said everything. It was hard to get a glance back that said, "Not here. Not now. Not yet."

What would happen if one of them were to die? It was so easily arranged that it was sometimes hard to believe they were still alive, and they clung to the hope that it would stay that way.

And yet, it was that thinking that made that boundary so hard to maintain. Their sheer, iron-clad will had broken more than once, and almost irreparably so. The temptation to just make do and be as happy as possible in the short time they had was a strong one, but in the end, it was about more than just them, and so they had to keep on re-drawing the line for as long as it took.

It nearly killed them, to have the other right there and yet so untouchable, but it also gave them strength. That dream would become a reality.

As long as they believed that, "so close" was close enough.

**A/N: WOO! 14,500+ hits, 202 reviews and going strong with 28 themes left! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to all of you reviewers! (And all you readers in general, too!) S****tarry Pink, causmicfire, Ruingaraf, BrightBlackField2007, RoyxRizaFan, hand-made-city, NinjaWriter11, Steph's, Red Walrus, U Ta Ne (sorry- ff . net thinks those periods mean it's a website!), kate4934, xRenegade-Sniperx, 37, Gimpyslair, Yums, Deniece, RR forever, Lain-san, and CristiPotter.**


	73. Parting

**73. Parting**

**A/N: Song: "All We Are" by One Republic**

**Takes place after Mustang's team is split up.**

It was never "good bye". Never.

It was always "I'll see you later" or "Until next time" or just an awkward, silent parting.

It was all they had to keep the faith alive.

It was hard to walk away at the end of lunch, not knowing when they'd get the chance to talk again. They always said that they would, and they'd try, but there was always that niggling doubt in the back of their minds.

What if the worst really should happen? What if there was some freak accident? There were a million different scenarios, each either all too ridiculous or all too real played out in both minds every day, but there was no doubt as to what the worst one was…

What if they never really got the chance to say good bye?


	74. Great Distance

**74. Great Distance**

**A/N: Song: "Back Here" by BBMak**

**Again, after Mustang's team is split up.**

Roy sighed and looked around the office. Before, there were times when he really did wish that one of them would just go away for a while, but that was only when the bantering got to be too much to handle.

But now, the change was too much.

Roy liked people, he really did. As limited as his patience was sometimes, he enjoyed the company of others. He was only human, after all.

Unfortunately, as a human, there was nothing he could do by himself to bring them all back.

Sure, he could go on some crazy, train-hopping trip in a desperate attempt to snatch up his subordinates and bring them all back, but what would that accomplish? It was just easier to comply.

At least, it was when it dealt with the men.

What really killed Roy was the now impossibly large distance between himself and Riza. Really, she was just up a couple flights of stairs and down the hall, turn to the right, then the left, second door on your right, but with her unbidden status change, she was even more untouchable than ever before.

And every time he saw her, he was reminded of just how far apart they were now, and just how much he wanted nothing more than to have her (and everyone else, he reminded himself) back at his side.

_Someday,_ he always thought to himself, _and someday soon, it'll be just like old times. I might have a bigger office, a more comfortable chair, and more paperwork than ever, but as long as they're beside me once again, I don't care._

_I just want them back._

**A/N: Obviously, I made up the directions from Roy's office to Bradley's Cave of Evil (Serious points if you get the reference!), but it just shows how much Roy thinks of Riza, right? ;)**


	75. Why?

**75. Why?**

**A/N: Song: "Why Do You Love Me?" by Garbage**

Why me?

I'm not perfect. Nobody is, but that goes several times over for me.

More often than not, it's been painful. I've saved him so many times, but that's only to make up for the hell I put him through.

You could tell me that it wasn't my fault, and that I could never have known what he would do, but he never forced me. I chose to show him, to teach him what my father couldn't. It was my decision and mine alone, knowing full well what he intended to do and how it would probably happen, given the state of affairs at the time.

After all this, I won't let him quit. He wouldn't, anyway, but there are some days where I can see just how hard it is. Those are the days I have to push, cajole—do whatever it takes to convince him that going on is really the right thing to do. It can be absolutely agonizing. It makes me miserable, even when we both know I'm right.

The worst part is that in those dark hours, he thanks me. It's not always in words. A lot of the time, it's a look that says more than words ever could, and though it's supposed to, it rarely makes me feel better.

Why did it happen this way? How can we put ourselves and each other through this time and again?

I don't know, but when all this is over, I know it will have been for the better.

Maybe then, when I get that look, I'll understand why.

For now, even the possibility has to be enough.


	76. Watching over you

**76. Watching Over You**

**A/N: Song: "Ghost of You and Me" by BBMak**

**Takes place some time after Ishval.**

Good Lord, she'd changed. Not that he hadn't, of course. Damn war had changed everyone. But she'd changed more than most.

He could still remember the somewhat timid teenager who had barely exchanged so much as the basic formalities with him for close to three months. No longer was she shy—reserved certainly, but "reserved" was far and away more respectable than "shy".

Roy liked to think that, even if it was only just a little bit, Riza had needed him. Humans are social creatures, after all, so it stood to reason that everyone needed someone else, but by the end of it all, it wasn't just the need for interaction. Maybe all that only showed just how much he needed her—God knows he still did and always would in some fashion—but Roy liked to think he was right.

"_I want to protect those under me."_

Ah. That was it. He hadn't been surprised by what had changed; he'd been saddened by it.

No. It had been there all along. How had he ever fooled himself into thinking otherwise?

All this time, he thought he'd been watching over her. To be fair, he had.

But she hadn't needed his protection so much as he needed hers.


	77. Implicit Rules

**77. Implicit Rules**

**A/N: Song: "Gomenasai" by t.A.T.u.**

**Roy first person P.O.V. Takes place after Maes's funeral.**

Soldiers don't break. They can't afford to.

That was what I told myself, standing at Maes's grave. Repeated it so many times I lost count. But in the end, it wasn't enough.

I thought I could bear it. I'd buried other friends—hell, I'd taken lives. I was supposed to be made of stronger stuff than this.

Yet there I was, and even though it was just the Lieutenant who saw it (and condoned it, much to my surprise), I was disgusted with myself. Some rules were made to be broken, but keeping it together wasn't one of those.

"You said you'd do what it takes. Sometimes, Sir, it takes giving yourself time to grieve. It's not a question of what's allowed—it's a question of what needs to be done."

She was right. I'd been playing by the military's rules for so long that I'd confused them for the rules of being human. And as much as she had to remind me of the first set, I wasn't surprised that the second set was still the most important.


	78. Ideals and Truth

**78. Ideals and Truth**

**A/N: Song: "The End" by Pearl Jam**

**Riza, first person, during 101.**

"_I think it's a wonderful dream."_

I always had.

I'd sacrificed everything for it—or as close as it got. And now, it really was going to be "everything", and with no end in sight.

Was it so wrong to have believed?

I wanted to ask him, but even though I was there, in his arms, I couldn't so much as whisper.

I was going to die without ever seeing that dream come to fruition. Ideally, I wouldn't have, but that was the truth, and nothing was going to change it.

I wanted to remind him that he had to continue pursuing his dream, no matter what. He would, I knew, and giving it my "blessing" felt right, but I couldn't.

My last thought before it was almost too late was one that I probably always had (and probably always would) believe:

No matter how wonderful the idea, the truth always prevails in the end, and all you can do is hope that it's on your side.

And it's strange, but I really did believe it, even though it certainly wasn't on mine.


	79. Underwater no Futari

**79. Underwater no Futari**

**A/N: Song: "I'll Be There For You" by the Rembrandts**

"There is no difference between being underwater and in the rain!" insisted a rather soggy, rather miffed Roy as he walked towards Central Headquarters on a particularly rainy morning. "In fact, proportionally, you're under more water than over it when you're out in the rain. Swimming, it's just the opposite most of the time!"

"Sir, I believe 'underwater' denotes immersion," Riza reminded him.

Roy rolled his eyes, ending with a somewhat exasperated look. "Lieutenant, if you haven't noticed, I'm somewhat drenched. I do believe this qualifies." Despite this "qualification", he received no resistance to threading Riza's free hand through the crook of his arm.

Riza sighed. "Sir, there are days I wonder how you made it through my father's instruction."

Chuckling, Roy admitted, "I suspect I ponder that far often than you, Lieutenant, and with a greater degree of amazement."

Riza smiled wryly, half at Roy's remark, half at another idea: "There is one undeniable difference between being underwater and in the rain, Sir."

Roy turned to look at her, eyebrows disappearing as he raised them under his sopping bangs. "Oh? And what might that be, Lieutenant?"

Truly grinning now, Riza indicated the fabric stretched over the wire frame above their heads. "Umbrellas don't work nearly so well underwater."

**A/N: Totally came up with this in the shower. Go figure.**

**Wow-it's been a while since I did anything happy! It was going to be something completely different (though not unhappy, either) before I thought of this; a more metaphorical underwater-y feeling that young love brings. I suspect young Roy and young Riza would be the same, but the words just weren't flowing, so you got this instead.**

**Oh, and if you're wondering how Roy was out in the rain, he was running to work when he came upon Riza, who had her umbrella with her because she prepares for these things.**


	80. Categorize

**80. Categorize**

**A/N: Song: "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" by Bryan Adams—Thanks to BrightBlackField007 for asking me to use something by Bryan Adams _way_ back when! (Bet you thought I'd never do it!)**

Some days, it was tempting to just go through the daily grind, to sort it all into chunks just to make it seem easier.

Paperwork, meeting, more paperwork, lunch—even Maes and his ranting and raving about marital bliss became just another occurrence. It was too easy to slip into the pattern and the accompanying thoughts without even realizing it.

There were days where it hardly seemed worth it. Death by paperwork was just as imminent as (if not more so than) death by psychotic Ishvalan. The Elric brothers returned from another quest empty handed.

But in the end, they would persevere because it was all for a future far brighter than any other, highly preferable to the present, and possibly able to make up for the wrongs of the past. Whenever that came to mind, at the end of the day, it was really quite simple. There were no categories.

There were just possibilities.


	81. Footsteps

**81. Footsteps**

**A/N: Song: "Nomah's Land" by Métisse.**

**Set between Lust stabbing Havoc and Roy vs. Lust. Roy first person.**

Funny how you always notice the wrong things.

I should have been focusing on Havoc, should have been trying to figure out a way to save him. And I was, just not fully.

Those footsteps. I tried to drown them out, but the more I tried, the more I heard them, and the angrier I got.

When I hear footsteps, I think of those who have walked away from me, never to return. Maes…

Footfalls, especially those of a villain, mean someone is going to die, and soon. Havoc and I, we were already as good as dead, so who would it be, I wondered?

Through the haze of pain and misery, it suddenly occurred to me that there was still one more person out there.

_No._

* * *

I wobbled as I got to my feet, used the wall for support, struggled to follow the sounds. As much as I'd hated the sound of footfalls before, if only I was able to hear them now—they might help me save one life tonight.

Suddenly, there was a noise, but it wasn't footsteps. It was another sound I knew all too well: the sound of a gun firing. And wailing. A horrible, primal cry.

But that wouldn't do the homunculus in—I knew as much now. I'd paid the price for that knowledge.

I strained to make my legs move faster, now focusing on the sounds of my own footsteps. Someone _was_ going to die tonight.

No, not someone—_something_.

**A/N: Okay, so I definitely screwed around with tenses here. **_**You**_** try going through what Roy's going through—I bet verb tenses will be just about the last thing on your mind!**


	82. Words that fade away in the chaos

**82. Words that fade away in the chaos**

**A/N: Song: "Falling Inside the Black" by Skillet**

**Riza first person during Roy vs. Lust**

"I like what you just said, Alphonse Elric."

With that, all hell broke loose, literally. The room seemed to be an inferno in seconds. Such is the power of flame alchemy—I know _that_ all too well.

I had never seen the Colonel this angry before, though. Having not gotten much of a look before Al put up a wall, I wasn't sure how bad that wound was, or why Havoc wasn't there, but judging by my earlier encounter with the other homunculus, as well as the damage to Al's armor, I was beginning to fear the worst.

"Colonel!" Even behind the wall Al had transmuted, it was hot. Dry, too. But he was alive—the Colonel was alive! I had to help him, had to make sure he was all right. Alphonse grabbed me, and I winced at the temperature of his armor body. He hadn't heard me, anyway. Not even words could survive the chaos of flames.

_Please, don't lose yourself to this, Colonel!_ It was just a wish, but wishing was all I could do until it was over.

Finally, the flames died, and the homunculus with them, but the coldness in the Colonel's expression didn't. I knew he was trying to quell what had been exploding from him moments before, but at least he was succeeding.

At last, my words could reach him.

**A/N: I wanted to use "Hero" for this, but I've already used it in one of these drabbles. However, Skillet does have a few songs I really like, and this is one of them, and, upon further reflection, fits the theme better. Yay!**


	83. Crowd

**83. Crowd**

**A/N: Song: "Into the Fire" by Thirteen Senses**

**Takes place during Ishval.**

Riza stared at the larger groups around their bonfires. Some "kind" souls had thought she wanted to join them, but it was just the opposite. She always felt so lost in crowds, even when she knew exactly where she was going.

But now that she really didn't know, it made no sense at all for her to join in.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spied a familiar figure advancing. This one wouldn't be so easy to shake off.

Major Mustang sat down beside her, frowning at the small fire Riza had built, not saying a word, and it almost made Riza want to say something, but it wasn't that they should go join everyone else.

It was harsh, but the words she most wanted to say—"It's too crowded—find somewhere else"—were for the best. After all, as the young man sitting next to her, and as she herself was a testament to, when you played with fire, you got burned.


	84. If only you would turn around

**84. If only you would turn around…**

**A/N: Song: "She is the Sunlight" by Trading Yesterday (I did another fic to this song—"Distractions"—which takes place during Roy's apprenticeship. Check it out if you need something fluffy after this!)**

**Set during the big bad transfer. Roy, first person.**

She would scold me if she knew. Hell, she probably does, but as long as she doesn't say anything, it's okay, even if I know better.

No—she _definitely_ knows. That's why she won't look. She knows it's my last chance, that I've been watching her for a long time, and that, in a way, I need this. To make sure I don't forget, to make sure I can hold on, maybe even to do the same for herself.

I should have taken something unimportant and hidden it, maybe even thrown it out, just so we could talk about something, no matter how inane, just one more time.

She glances around one last time, and I catch her looking out of the corner of her eye. We say our formal goodbyes, but as she turns to leave, I open my mouth to say something—anything, if only it would keep her here a little longer. She freezes for just an instant, and her expression (what little I can see) pleads with me not to make this any harder than it already is.

I know I shouldn't wish it—can't wish it. No matter how hard I try, though, I can't help but think, _If only you would turn around…_

**A/N: Yeah, yeah, traditional sappiness, blah blah blah, they're not some ooey-gooey romantic couple, yes, I completely agree—THAT'S WHY SHE DOESN'T TURN AROUND IN THE END AND RUSH BACK INTO HIS ARMS FOR A HOT MAKEOUT SESSION. (And anyway, with a theme like this, what was I supposed to do, huh?)**

**That said, the next one's cuter, fluffier, and every bit as hackneyed, but I hope that by the time you've read both, you'll think I've done each one justice!**


	85. Surprise Attack

**85. Surprise Attack**

**A/N: Song: "A Mad Russian's Christmas" by Trans-Siberian Orchestra**

**Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

Mr. Hawkeye was roused from his study by a scream from outside—his daughter's.

Moving unusually fast, he made his way down the stairs to the living room, grabbing his winter coat from the back of a chair.

He stopped at the bay window, jacket half-on; Riza and Roy were both picking themselves up out of the snow. It appeared that Riza had walked into and consequently knocked over Roy as she had been looking up at the falling snow.

As Roy dusted himself off, Mr. Hawkeye smiled. Things were just about to get interesting. He hadn't seen his daughter truly act like a child since…

"Hey!"

Riza had thrown a snowball at Roy, hitting him squarely in the chest, and was already forming another as Roy stared at her, speechless. He knew he wasn't going to be able to make his own snowball in time enough, so he charged Riza, wrapping his arms around her waist, picking her up, swinging her around, and finally collapsing with her into a pristine patch of snow.

Now Mr. Hawkeye gave pause. He could not quite figure out whether the relationship was between his daughter and his student was more of that between an older brother and a younger sister, or that of childhood (or perhaps not but just plain) sweethearts. Roy was a decent young man, and he knew Riza could take care of herself, but, as a father, he did feel obligated to fret a little.

Another happy half-laugh-half-yell brought him out of his reverie, and he picked up the camera as the two continued to toss half-packed snowballs at each other and whirl around and collapse again and again.

Finally, when it seemed they were done and were trudging towards the porch, Mr. Hawkeye made his way to the kitchen.

After all, what fun was a snow day if it ended without hot chocolate?

**A/N: So, I'm writing this On June 25, 2010, i.e. exactly 6 months until Christmas. How cool is that? Actually, it's kind of grey and blah where I live, so it may as well be Christmas, anyway.**


	86. Syllogism

**86. Syllogism**

**A/N: Song: "Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan**

**Roy first person after chapter 102, but no direct spoilers.**

It's said that people get what's coming to them, that those who fight for right deserve a happy ending, and that those who fight for wrong do not.

I've fought and fought against the wrong and for the right, and yet my happy ending is always just out of reach at best, and seemingly just a figment of an incredibly overactive imagination at worst.

Then we get a small victory, gain a little ground, and the end comes a little more into focus. We, the just, the courageous, the _right_—we _will_ win.

But there are other times when I wonder, and it scares me:

What if, somehow, it's _me _who's wrong?

She's always there to assure me that this fear is unfounded, that what we are doing really is the right thing, or at least for the greater good.

If it scares me to wonder if I'm wrong, it terrifies (and enrages—how could I ever for a moment doubt her?) me when I catch myself dreading that _she_ might be wrong, too.


	87. Memories

**87. Memories**

**A/N: Song: "Pictures of You" by the Last Goodnight**

**Takes place post-manga. Spoilers through 108. Also, pretending that Havoc had known Riza before the army, and that Havoc went back into the military. (Which, judging by the pictures at the end, he does not.)**

"Hey—where do these go?" Havoc called as he hauled in a box of files.

"Over by the couch, Havoc, then take a break," Riza told him.

"Come on—I feel fine!" Havoc insisted.

"Take a break, Havoc," Roy ordered.

Havoc sighed. He knew it was pointless to argue once the jumped-up, newly promoted General Mustang got involved. "Yes, Sir."

Secretly glad for the reprieve, Havoc sat on the couch and stretched his legs, aching just a little. Even though they'd been away for a few years, the old office in Eastern felt like home, if somewhat larger than before, now that there were only three of them instead of six. But Falman, Fuery and Breda were all doing fine, and that was what counted, he supposed.

Hayate trotted over and curled up by the box Havoc had just set down, sniffing at it.

"Well, let's see, here." Havoc lifted the lid. "Papers, files, books… hey!" He pulled out a stack of pictures. There was Roy, asleep on the couch. There was Riza cleaning her gun. There was Maes, with a rather hassled Roy, and this…

"Huh." Havoc recognized the setting as Chris's establishment, and he remembered Roy having been taught by Riza's father, but this was new: though they looked somewhat serious, and possibly just a little scared, Roy and Riza held each other's gaze as they danced.

_What if…?_ Havoc couldn't help but wonder, but quickly shook his head and buried the photo.

It was better this way. There was still time. Havoc just hoped it wouldn't remain only a memory forever.

**A/N: Recognize the theme from picture that Havoc doesn't? It's from chapter 68, "Song".**

**And I may have fudged Roy's rank a bit—I'm not exactly sure what exactly it is in the end. If you know (and have credible proof), let me know and I'll change it!**


	88. Given Name

**88. Given Name**

******A/N: Song: "Hands Held High" by Linkin Park**

** Implied spoilers for 102.**

"Riza," Roy called softly as he made his way into the room.

"It's a derivation of 'Thereza'. It means 'guardian'." Riza did not look up as she cleaned her gun. It didn't matter. "I tried to make it true. I really did."

"You can't blame yourself." Roy sighed and sat down.

Now, Riza looked up. It still didn't matter, but it was habit. "Roy."

"Do you know what it means?" he asked. "It's 'king', right?" He didn't pause for Riza to indicate either way. "Wrong. It comes from a name that means 'red'. People just associate it with royalty because it sounds closer. But 'red' matches more in my case." He lifted his hands to in front of his face. "All that blood, and for what?"

"For a better future," Riza answered automatically. "So that you _could_ be a king, or something like it. So that you could _help_… Because you weren't given a choice."

Roy took Riza's hands across the coffee table. "I made myself into something I wasn't, and in doing so, I made you into that same thing. We've done monstrous things."

"We did what seemed right. We're only human, even if we feel less than that. Call it monstrous, call it whatever you want. In the end, it's just a name like any other. It might be associated with something, but that doesn't make the person that same thing." She squeezed his hands gently. "But I believe that you can live up to 'king'. There's a reason 'red' isn't associated with 'Roy' anymore—it's the men who have tried to do the right thing, like you."

Roy shook his head. "But have I succeeded?"

"If you give up, you'll never find out."

Roy's mouth quirked into a sort of sad, twisted grin. "As much as I have to, there's a part of me that says I don't want to know." He sighed. "But I'd never forgive myself if I didn't."

Riza nodded. "And I'll be there for you—your guardian—always."

The grin faded, replaced by the set jaw of determination. "Then for you, who have made yourself into your name, I will make myself into mine."

Even when Roy looked so serious, Riza couldn't help but smile. "I've never doubted that for a second."

**This would never have come about if it wasn't for a discussion on the Royai thread at fullmetal-alchemist (dot) com about Riza's name. It was Turdaewen who said that Riza could be a derivation of "Thereza", meaning "Hunter/Warrior/Guardian" (post #17300). Pretty apt, I thought.**

**On a side note, "Roy" really does apparently derive from a name meaning "red", but is more commonly associated with the French "Roi" ("King"). I'll go with "King" any day, though.**


	89. Ultimate Weapon

**89 Ultimate Weapon**

**A/N: Song: "New Divide" by Linkin Park**

**Continuation of theme 20, "Murderer", though after Roy, Riza, Barry and Falman are done with their meeting.**

"…perhaps I've spent too long listening to crazy people, but I think Barry's right," Riza finished off as she and Roy walked towards her apartment.

Roy nodded. "As much as it disgusts me to admit it, I agree with Barry, too: we were just weapons for the government to dispose of as they saw fit. Highly effective as only humans can be, but weapons no less. And maybe I'm just trying to justify it, but it helps me sleep at night."

"And I already told you that I agree." Riza sighed. "Whatever works, I suppose."

Heaving a sigh of his own, Roy looked towards the sky. "Humans can do such horrible things to each other."

"But they can also do some pretty wonderful things, too," Riza reminded him.

It was a discussion they often had when they needed reassurance, each time taking the tack the one who started didn't. By now, each knew what the other would say, they would wind up agreeing, and then they would part ways.

As routine as it had become, though, it made them feel less like weapons and more like humans.

**A/N: Yeah, totally copped out on the argument, but we all know it by now. I was just pointing out how the things we think we couldn't possibly bear to hear once more can still be of comfort.**


	90. Hidden Feelings, Hidden Expressions

**90. Hidden Expressions/Hidden Feelings**

**A/N: Song: "Your Song" by Elton John**

It was so obvious that most people missed it.

A playboy of Roy Mustang's reputation and an uptight (though probably secretly quite loose, many assumed) subordinate like Riza Hawkeye had a fast-paced relationship based pretty much on sex, or they had nothing at all, most people figured.

Letting that assumption fly was the key to keeping whatever they had under wraps. It wasn't that they didn't show it; they just didn't show it in ways people normally expected, and if Havoc or Falman or Breda or Fuery knew or even suspected, they very much kept mum about it.

Sure, there were glances exchanged—brief smiles and frowns, nods—but those could mean just about anything. Words meant everything in terms of proof, and even then, there was only one phrase that betrayed them always and every time: "Thank you."

Those two words said everything, regardless of tone or facial expression. "I'm sorry", "I needed that at just that moment", and even, if you listened closely, a sort of "I love you".

But every single time, no matter what the situation was, "thank you" also meant something that was so hard to see that only the two of them knew: "I'm glad you're beside me. I'd have no one else."

**A/N: Yeah, I know "Your Song" is supposed to be about trumpeting the guy's love to the world, but that doesn't happen in this situation, so, all things considered, I think I did pretty well.**

**Whew! 10 more to go!**


	91. Kiss

**91. Kiss**

**A/N: Song: "The Kiss" by Karmina.**

**Companion to drabbles 14 ("Covered Eyes") and 59 ("Gift").**

Roy didn't know what to do.

He had Riza's present, but as he was actually wrapping it this year, the events of Riza's last birthday would not leave him alone!

That kiss had been spontaneous, and neither of them had spoken of it since, nor had they spoken of the kiss Riza had given Roy on his birthday a few months ago, probably only out of a sense of reciprocal duty.

And perhaps he was paranoid, but in the past week, it had seemed that there was something between them that was making communication more difficult than usual. It wasn't dislike so much as not knowing what to say, Roy knew, but still, it was uncomfortable.

Roy sighed. He couldn't put this off any longer. He'd just have to do what felt right.

* * *

Riza opened the door to Roy's gentle knock.

"I, er, happy birthday, Riza." Roy handed her the present.

"Th-thank you." Riza's shy smile suddenly widened. "You wrapped it," she observed, sounding amused.

Roy shrugged. "Well, presents are supposed to be surprises, right?"

"True," Riza agreed with a nod. She ran a finger under the tape and carefully unwrapped the book. "Thank you, Roy."

"Don't thank me yet—I have one more surprise," Roy told her, sounding far more confident than he felt.

"Oh?" Riza already looked surprised.

But if it was possible to bewilder her even more, Roy's other surprise did just that.

He leaned in and kissed her once, barely brushing her lips with his.

Stepping back, he saw Riza's primary stunned expression, but there was a flicker of something underneath that told him he'd made the right choice. "Happy birthday, Riza," he whispered, and was gone.

Riza lifted a hand to her mouth, nerves fizzing not at all unpleasantly.

Happy birthday, indeed.

**A/N: This one gave me so much trouble until I went through all of the other ones. Once I re-read 14 and 59, it was clear what I had to do.**

**Also, I wrote a possible continuation to this: "When Words Become Superfluous", taking place the day after the events of this drabble. Want more fluff? Go read it! :)**


	92. Happiness?

**92. Happiness?**

**A/N: Song "If Only" by Fiction Plane**

**Pretending that, after Ishbal but before the transfer to Central, Roy and Riza go back to the Hawkeye house to sort out what's what. (Why this did not happen earlier, I do not know. Please, just go with me on this one!)**

The more we want things to change or stay the same, the more it seems the opposite is what happens, for better or for worse.

Riza sighed. She'd always known she was going to have to face these particular ghosts of her past, or rather, the (occasionally literal, in the case of a few spiders) skeletons in her closet.

"Whoa…" Roy breathed, a little in awe, before sneezing violently, causing Riza to jump. "Sorry, Lieutenant."

"I'd better get started," she murmured, grabbing a book from the end table. A scrap fluttered to the floor. Bending to pick it up, she realized it was a photograph. It was one Chris must have taken while on a rare visit: the angle from was off to the side and slightly in front of the porch swing. Riza was half-curled up next to Roy, who had an arm around her somewhat protectively. She looked a little apprehensive, but the both of them were smiling, it was obvious that each one was the other one's reason for doing so.

"Sometimes I wonder: could we have been happy if things had stayed just like that?" Roy mused quietly at Riza's shoulder, making her jump yet again.

Regaining her composure, Riza turned to look at Roy and shrugged. "I don't think we'll ever know the answer to that, Sir. I just know that, even with all we've been through, I'm happy with things as they are, and that's good enough."

**A/N: This was going to be its own story, possibly multi-chapter, and definitely long and angsty, but then, as I was writing this, I realized that it didn't have to be that way, and that it really could be as simple as it turned out to be.**


	93. Shackles

**93. Shackles**

**A/N: Song: "Funhouse" by P!nk**

**Takes place as Riza leaves for Ishval. Pretending 92 doesn't (or rather, won't) exist. You'll see why.**

**WARNING: Riza is more than a little mentally unstable in this one. If that or arson disturbs you, don't read this.**

Riza gazed around the house one last time. Things were as they had always been, and that was fine with her. She was done caring. She was off to become a soldier, to chase a dream not entirely her own. She'd probably never come back.

So why was she having such a hard time convincing herself that this needed to be done?

Everywhere she looked, a painful memory lurked in a nook or cranny; a juxtaposition of what life used to be and what it had become in the less than two decades she had been alive.

Laughter at long-forgotten jokes echoed down the halls, only to be followed by fresher soft sobs that couldn't quite convey the depth of the ache in her heart.

She couldn't even set foot in her father's rooms anymore. Riza had only glanced in one last time just to make sure that things were in order, not that they really had to be anymore.

It had occurred to her that she could sell it all, even the house, but the ghosts that inhabited the place were too much to wish upon anyone, regardless of how much (or how little) one knew of the history of the occupants.

At least the end would be fitting, she thought. She had chosen it specifically for its irony. Though she would never amount to anything as an alchemist (not that she wanted to), Riza was her father's daughter through and through.

She grabbed the bag that she had packed and went to put it outside on the lawn. She walked back in and took the embers from the fire and put them into a can right by the trails of black powder she'd set up. She took the pistol she'd found so long ago that she didn't even remember its original location (not that it mattered now) and, from the front door, shot the can, knocking it over and spraying the embers onto the gunpowder.

In planning, Riza had made sure this would take a while. Her suffering had been prolonged. Why not revisit that on the place that had allowed it?

_Maybe I'm going crazy, thinking like that._

Riza shook her head and began walking.

She was a quarter-mile away when a deep _BOOM!_ sounded in the silence of the early morning.

A sense of release flooded through Riza, and though it made her uncomfortable, she realized she was grinning.

_Dust to dust, ashes to ashes. Whoever said it, I don't think they meant it quite this literally._

As much as it scared her, Riza realized she just didn't care anymore.

**A/N: Originally, this was called "Unto Ashes", and it wasn't even going to be a part of this collection, but I was re-reading it, and the more I read, the more it fit, so I chose to use it.**

**I honestly don't even think that Riza would do this, but I was listening to the song, and this popped into my head. It's just a flipping weird story all around. I don't like getting into crazy people's heads very often, and Riza's definitely lost touch with reality here.**

**However, if you did enjoy this (or just like Ishval stuff), please read my companion oneshot "Altered States of Consciousness", which contains a reference to this, but with a far more sane Riza. (And an about-as-sane-as-he-gets-which-isn't-saying-much Kimblee.)**


	94. From Yesterday

**94. From Yesterday**

**A/N: Song: "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi**

**Set at the end of 61, Riza first person, flashbacks in italics.**

"Despite what you went through in Ishval, you still chose this path?"

"Yes, Sir. I made the decision to wear this uniform out of my own free will."

He considers this, and I know what's going through his head. He wants some way to dissuade me, to shift the burden from me, but he can't. Every decision I made was my own, and it all come back to one moment.

* * *

_We stand at my father's grave. The service is done, and Roy will be leaving soon. I thank him again for helping, and we start chatting almost normally. In the end, he tells me of his dreams, his plans for the future, and if I had been undecided before, there is no doubt as to what I am going to do now._

"_That _dream_… can I trust you with my _back_ so that I can help make it come true?"_

_He doesn't know, doesn't suspect where this will lead._

_And I'm naïve enough to let him go on like that._

* * *

_He panics as I tell him to burn my back. I don't blame him; I would do the same in his position. I must make my plea carefully and compellingly, so that he understands._

_What he understands is the need to protect, so I tell him that I can't guarantee the safety of others with this secret still on my back._

_He still isn't convinced, and so I play my trump card: "To remove the burden of my father's legacy and allow me, Riza Hawkeye, to be independent, it has to be done."_

_If I let him see that my hands are trembling, if I don't fight down the nausea, he'll never do it, and so I won't show him that I'm terrified._

_Whether he sees through it or whether he really doesn't see it, he agrees._

* * *

I've always talked a good game. It's how I've come this far. I think he knows that, and so he thinks that if he plays the game, he can turn the tables, but I won't budge. I refuse to.

I agree to shoot him if he should stray, and I get the feeling I'm being told to right now, but that won't happen, because then, his dream will be lost.

"I will follow you into hell if you ask me." I say, unprompted, so he knows that right now, it's my decision, and mine alone—he didn't force me to do this.

It's my life—it always has been—and I'll be damned if I let anyone tell me how to live it.

**A/N: I took several lines from Viz's official English translation of the manga, but I tried to pare it down to the ones I felt were the most important and paraphrased the rest.**


	95. Now

**95. Now**

**A/N: Song: "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars—Thanks to Kate4394 for suggesting this!**

Roy folded his hands and rested his chin on them in contemplation. His subordinates had been dismissed for the day, but, as usual, Riza remained.

"Sir?" Riza asked. While things hadn't been terrible as of late, they hadn't been wonderful, either, and Roy had just been a bit more quiet than usual.

"I'm going to do this. I'm going to make it to the top, no matter the obstacles." Roy turned to Riza. "I've got only so much time on this earth, and I'm going to make it meaningful. I'm making a promise here and now that I won't rest until this is done, and that I won't give up. All there will be is "now" until my dream is fulfilled. I can't let anything distract me."

"I never doubted that for a second, Sir," Riza told him. "I hope you haven't, either."

Roy shook his head. "No; just giving myself a pep talk. Just one of those days."

Riza smiled softly. "We all have those, Sir—we're only human."

His mouth twisting into a grin somewhere between wry and genuine, Roy nodded. "I know." He sighed and stood. "But this human is going to do what few can do. I'm going to do what needs to be done."

Now Riza was truly smiling. For as much trouble as Roy could be when he was pessimistic, he more than made up for it when he was able to talk himself out of it, when he remembered that while the past and the future were important, neither would exist without a "now".

**A/N: Only 5 more!**


	96. Tomorrow, too

**96. Tomorrow, too**

**A/N: Song: "Life After You" by Daughtry**

**Implied spoilers for 102 (and written before 103 came out), but takes place in my lovely post-manga imagined world.**

Roy stood at the window of the Führer's office, not really looking out, of course, but contemplating, almost unable to believe where he was.

"Sir." Riza said it gently, but he was so attuned to her voice that he couldn't miss it even when he wasn't concentrating on the present.

"We made it." He turned toward Riza. "We made it. It's done." He seemed to be waiting for something.

Riza blinked. "I'm not leaving, you know. I'll be here. Just because you accomplished your goal… _You_ mean something to me, too, you know."

Roy sighed, relieved. "Thank goodness. I don't know what I'd do if you weren't by my side anymore."

"Sir, I've supported you all this time…" There wasn't a tactful way to put this.

It followed, then, that Roy was a little annoyed. "You can be supported those under you, but the best support comes from those who walk _beside_ you, no matter their rank. Call it whatever you want—I really don't care. Just don't leave me."

Riza walked over and took his hand for a moment. "That, I _can_ agree to. I wouldn't have spent all this time with you just to leave now. It's not that I think I couldn't make it on my own, but why would I want to? I've almost lost you too many times—I'm not letting you go again."

Roy smiled and gripped Riza's hand just a little more tightly. "And that, _I_ can agree to."


	97. If I Die

**97. "If I Die"**

**A/N:**** Song: "Far Away" by Nickelback.**

**Takes place during chapter 101. Riza first person POV. (Using translations from OneManga.) Companion-ish to The Scent of Blood (15).**

_If I die…_ It had always been just that: "if". There was no "I'm going to", because that simply couldn't happen. There was always something more to do—no time to die.

And then I was on Death's doorstep, reaching for the doorknob, grasping it, twisting it…

"Lieutenant!"

Thank God the door was locked.

"…stopped the bleeding for now. Leave the rest to a proper doctor!" This had to be the young Xingese girl.

Everything was still a bit hazy, but I registered quite clearly that I was now in someone's arms.

"I'm sorry..."

Roy.

This was no time to be in my own little world, and yet, I couldn't help but think to myself, _If I die, I want these feelings of safety and warmth… and love… to be the last thing I remember._

But everything was still going on around me. There was so much left to do.

So I had to keep on living.

**A/N: Tell me someone saw the song coming! (Or at least that it makes sense!)**


	98. After the Rain

**98. After the Rain**

**A/N: Song: "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal**

**Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

_Of all the days to hedge my bets…_

Riza Hawkeye ran toward the house, a bag of groceries in one arm, the other a visor to keep as much of the rain off her face as possible.

Bounding up the steps, she flung the door open, darted inside, and very nearly slammed the door shut, her breath coming in short gasps.

"Are you all right?"

It took all of Riza's effort to keep from squeaking and jumping in surprise, and forget about a normal heart rate… "I'm… fine."

Roy nodded slowly, clearly not believing her, and still staring. "Uh-_huh_."

Riza blushed and looked down. Her skirt, shirt, and sweater were all soaked and clinging to her. "I guess I'd better go change."

Roy rose from his chair quickly. "I'll put those groceries away."

* * *

She hadn't come down yet. It had been ten minutes, and maybe Riza was taking care of her wet things, but Roy was uneasy. He made his way quietly up the stairs, just in case Riza or her father were sleeping.

Riza's door was only just slightly ajar. Roy approached it cautiously, raising a hand to knock, but not before he caught a glimpse of something: red lines on Riza's back.

They looked too well organized to be a birthmark or a random bruise, and Roy doubted Mr. Hawkeye was nearly so cruel as to inflict any sort of ritual pain on his daughter. But as curious as he was, he had looked away almost immediately, and was not about to look again.

Unfortunately, now he wanted to _know_. Riza was already something of a mystery to him, and though things had been clearing up a bit lately, Roy knew there was far more to his master's daughter than he would be able to find out in the amount of time he would be there.

Riza opened the door to find Roy standing there, hand still poised to knock, and he realized just what that might look like. He gulped. "I…" But there were no words, and so they were trapped there for what was probably still a good five minutes, but seemed infinitely longer.

"I should go start dinner," Riza said quietly. She walked past Roy, who just barely squelched the impulse to grab Riza's wrist and demand an explanation.

And suddenly, it occurred to him that, when it came to the Hawkeye house, rain always made things just a little odd.

**A/N: If I were going to be cheap about this, I would have taken down "No Longer a Cross, Not Yet a Comfort" and used it here. But I didn't, so now you're going to have to go read it if you haven't already. Nyah-nyah! :P**

**As to why Riza's door was ajar: I think she'd know that Roy wasn't the sort to look, and he was downstairs, anyway, so she wasn't as cautious as she normally might be about closing it. (And her hands were slick from being wet.)**


	99. Welcome Home

**99. "Welcome home"**

**A/N: ****Song: "You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson**

******Takes place during Roy's apprenticeship.**

Riza walked in through the front door. "I'm back."

She'd announced it only so her father didn't perceive a threat. As such, she certainly hadn't expected Roy to look up from his note-taking, give her a small smile, and greet her with a genuine, "Welcome home."

Though they'd gotten along just fine, it was the first time that Roy had welcomed her home. She wasn't quite sure what all to feel, but she knew that regardless of how it should feel, it felt right.

A blush crept up Riza's cheeks. "Er, thank you, Roy."

Roy's cheeks flushed a little, too. "Sorry. It's just, you know, it's gotten to be so much like home since I came here…"

"No, it's fine! It just surprised me, that's all." Riza bit her lip.

Roy stared at her for a moment before looking at the papers he was nervously shuffling. "Well, good, get used to it, 'cause I'm not going to stop."

Riza nodded and hurried up to her room.

THE NEXT DAY…

"I'm back."

Riza poked her head out of the kitchen, where she was preparing dinner. "Welcome home, Roy."

Roy smiled. "Thanks, even though it's still not really my home."

Riza shrugged. "It is while you're here."

To this, Roy had nothing to say. It was nerve-wracking, starting to think of a new person as part of one's home. And yet, regardless of that, to Roy, it felt right.

**A/N: Just one more!**


	100. Until That Day

**100. Until That Day**

**A/N: Song: "Umbrella/Cinderella" by Rihanna feat. Chris Brown**

**SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE MANGA THROUGH 108, assuming Roy got his eyesight back. Also, pretending that Riza and her father lived somewhere in east Amestris. Takes place five years to the day after the Promised Day.**

**Totally inspired by looking at too much fanart.**

All right, so the day off hadn't quite gone as planned. Roy just smiled wryly and rolled his eyes—he was used to it. It was better than that day five years ago…

He'd nearly gone insane with hatred and revenge, watched Riza's throat being slit without being able to do anything about it, forced to perform human transmutation, lost his eyesight, and still somehow help to assure a victory over evil.

To that point, there was still great debate over what to call the day. "Victory Day" didn't express the hard work, "Atonement Day" wasn't right at all, "Armed Forces Day" didn't take into account that the enemy had been within the army, "Unification Day" presented the wrong idea (though the souls of Amestris and Xerxes had united to fight)… nothing could convey just how much had happened or the significance of the day. It was just "a day to remember forever".

As such, it was a holiday for absolutely everyone.

Roy had arranged to have Riza over for breakfast, and then to spend the day together, but he had stayed late at the office the previous night filing paperwork, and, as a result, had answered the door still groggy and only half-dressed. Riza, as usual, had been polite and matter-of-fact about it, helping herself to a glass of water and making breakfast while Roy stumbled around a bit.

When they'd finally set off, though the past few days had been hot and dry, a sudden rainstorm had blown in. Now, Roy and Riza stood under the awning of a closed store, somewhat damp, but otherwise in good spirits. Hayate snapped at the occasional raindrop, but mostly lay obediently at the two soldiers' feet.

"Just like old times, huh?" Roy murmured. "Eastern weather always was surprising. Some things just never change."

Riza nodded, smiling. "And yet, I'm still not used to it."

"Heh." Roy shrugged. Then, something caught his eye. "Hey…" He picked up a discarded umbrella. "Well, shall we continue our walk?" he asked, putting up the umbrella, then holding out his unoccupied arm.

"We shall, indeed." Riza slid her arm through his.

They walked for a few moments in silence, then Roy stopped. "There's no one out," he mused.

"Why should there be? It's a holiday, and it's raining," Riza pointed out.

"Yeah… Do you remember that day we were on our way home from town while I was your father's student?" Roy queried. "How it started pouring out of nowhere, and we found that abandoned shed to wait it out?" He chuckled.

"I don't think either of us could forget." As soon as she said that, Riza knew exactly where this was going to go. But why shouldn't it, on a day like today?

Roy could sense her dilemma, but at least he knew Riza was debating it. He raised an eyebrow. "For old times' sake? Unless you really don't think it's a good idea."

Riza shook her head. "No, not for old times' sake. For now. For us. Because I refuse to live and die knowing I had a chance I didn't take." She turned to fully face Roy, then rolled forward a little onto slight tiptoe, and pressed her lips to his, wrapping her free arm around his neck to steady herself.

Roy slid his free arm around Riza's waist to hold her there for a moment, then released her as they broke the kiss.

"A little bit of sunshine for an otherwise rainy day," she quipped, one corner of her mouth quirking upward. Once again, she threaded her free arm through his, and they began to walk again, each bearing the grin they'd worked so hard to earn, and would continue to work for so everyone else could smile long after the holiday was over.

There would be rainy days, and there would be sunny days, but through it all, they'd always had each other, and they always would. And that was all that truly mattered.

**A/N: NOTHING MORE THAN KISSING WENT ON IN THAT SHED SO GET YOUR FILTHY MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!**

**Ahem…**

**Wow… so this is how it ends, huh? Could I have made it any more cliché? You don't want to ask. I would have given you rainbows, ponies, and Royai babies, but I'd never have respected myself ever again. With this, I can still salvage some dignity, however small.**

**So, a COLOSSAL THANK YOU to all of you who read and/or reviewed thus far! (26.800+ hits and 298 reviews!) I might write for _me_, but I'm glad you can enjoy it or point out what needs work… You all are awesome! Special thanks to the following, who left reviews: ****Starry Pink, causmicfire, Ruingaraf, BrightBlackField2007, RoyxRizaFan, hand-made-city, NinjaWriter11, Steph's, Red Walrus, U Ta Ne (sorry- ff . net thinks those periods mean it's a website!), kate4934, xRenegade-Sniperx, 37, Gimpyslair, Yums, Deniece, RR forever, Lain-san, CristiPotter, mebh, Night's Bullet, 37, havocmangawip, Lou Nebin, Red Amaranth, and mylovemiroku.**

'**Til next we meet! I've already got a few more short stories in the works and written, and I'm attempting a longer, multi-chapter fic, too! We'll see how it goes!**


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